You Don't Bring Me Flower Anymore

"What do you mean by this?"
"Time to go home."
"You think this is a game?"
"I don't, but you do."
"What the fuck are you talking bout?"
"Enough already. We both know this can't go on. Someone has to make the last call."
"Can't we sit down and talk things over?"
"There is nothing left to be talked about. All this years, we have already spend all the things we can talk about."
"So, this is it?"
"Yea, I guess so."
"Will we still be friends?"
"I don't know. Probably. But I don't think I'll be seeing you anytime soon though."
"Where are you going?"
"Bought a ticket to Bali next week."
"You've planned this all along?"
"We both know it all along, just a matter of time."

When one has gone through good times and bad times together, one would naturally think that the relationship would last forever. But when all the sparks has been exhausted, there really is nothing left to sustain the relationship. Maybe that's the problem with gay relationship, there is no commitment to constrain us like a straight relationship does. But that would mean that no gay men would find lasting happiness. That's something daunting to take in.

Instead of just staying together as if there is still love there, wouldn't it be better to just let go of each other. To free each other and let each other seek out their next destiny.

The relationship is a milestone, but life is a long journey with death as the final destination. We should not linger too long in a place even though we are very comfortable in that place. A stagnant relationship, however comfortable it is, is not something that anyone should hold on to. Nobody is at fault here. If the real reason must be disclosed, it would just make life miserable for everyone. Why don't just let it be? Think of it as an expired can meat, just throw it away and forget about it. Easier said then done, but think of the health complication if you eat an expired meat.

Perfect Stranger

He has just the perfect proportion of body. The right height and the most tone arm ever. He has a healthy skin tone, one that is naturally tan. His dark and lushes hair paired with his rugged look makes one wonder if such perfect man really exist. Standing around him, one can detect the faintest freshness of shampoo.

Then his phone rang and he started talking, and I just can't help but to roll my eyes and shut him out of my mind forever.

That perfect man remains to be perfect because he is a stranger that one knew nothing of. Nothing should be known. Fantasy drives perfectness, truth shatters.

Beware he who disclose not his pic

I have known this since a long long time ago, but somehow I never did learned from all these painful experiences. Anybody who does not ask for your face pic before hand but willing to have sex with you are definitely not your average guy. They also tend to under declare their age and weight. I told myself that I am being a good Samaritan to have sex with them. Maybe I'm just not good at saying no. Or maybe I was just horny as hell and any outlet are enough for me. Does that make me a slut? Probably.

Among my painful experience was a middle age bold hairstylist, sissy malay, fat men and ugly uncles. Talk about just naming a few. Sigh. Maybe with my average look, it is hard for me to nail down fresh meat, I guess it is time to find some steady sex partner instead. But with all my pass ONS encounters, none of them really rise to the occasion of becoming my sex buddy. I guess I am holding to the strict code of ethic for ONS, which is really once only. I find myself unable to perform as well after the first encounter. It's as if I'm bored with them already and little junior prefer to go somewhere new instead. Or maybe it is time for me to venture into local sauna to seek for pleasure in the dark. But that is so sad, albeit fun. I don't want to end up a desperate old man. I'm not even 30 yet to date.

Maybe I should seriously consider beefing up my body in the gym. Nothing like a good 6 pack. But then people say that those muscle are just for show and it is a prove of your superficialness. Sigh. To tread on the fine line of being sophisticated and superficial is not an easy task.

Ambiguousness

"Are we sex buddy?"
"We are more than that."
"Are we a couple?"
"We are less than that."
"What are we then?"
"We are us, you and me, two person enjoying each other's company."

Ambiguous relationship. Seems that alot of people hate those. But I believe in balance of the world, if there are alot of people hating something, there should be equally alot of people loving them.

What makes people like such a relationship? Exactly the indistinctness that makes it so interesting. Every date is like the first date. There is no talk of future, only the moment that matters. Is that not the essence of a good relationship? Commitments weights down a relationship. Maybe being a typical Sagittarius, I cherish my freedom above all else, but one can't blame the zodiac for everything. I guess it depends on what is it that you seek in a relationship. But then you realized that not many people knows what is it that they really want in a relationship. They merely want it because everyone else has it, failing to understand what other people is having. Hmm... so does people who like ambiguous relationship knows what they want or were they merely clueless of what they want? I guess it's like what the sunscreen song says, "don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."

Axcesticon - Ass, Sex, Tits and Cons

Yea... I've just seen the Top 17... well well.... last year there was Top 20, but this year there was only 17. Lack of participation or the quality is just not up to standard this year? Hmm...

From the shortlisted, we see that the taste of this year's preliminary judges lean more towards slim cute type instead of muscle type. Or, again, was it because of lack of participation? Maybe it's all hidden behind the cloth but somehow I doubt that there is much meat to be seen. Except maybe for a sneak preview to the meat hanging down there. There are alot of packages dangling there half tempting our imagination... Now it really stirs my imagination in wondering if any cock is awaken during the whole photo shoot?

This year also score some interesting names that you don't come across often. At the top of the list would probably be Justay (typo or real name?). Anyway in which case, I found that there is a m-yspace under the same name belonging to a 48 year old woman staying in Texas... and she is a lesbian... talk about coincidence. Coming up second is Kerou which reminds me of Keroro. Wason for Watson. And last but not least, Raven, which isn't really that rare a name, but I would expect him to be a mmorpg character instead, but cute nonetheless.

So, the total profiles I see now is 31800. On March 2006, I recorded a total profile of 13170 during one of my whimsical journaling session, which we can see increased thrice fold thus far. Does the gay population in Malaysia really increase this dramatically? Or was it merely a foul play? Do we expect similar increment for this year? Well, we will find out soon enough.

Who will win this year? What kind of bitching gossip would surface? Tune in for the next, probably never, installation of Axcesticon Review. Witness the ass, sex, tits and cons that would certainly keep you on edge.... for awhile anyway...