Talak Battah

I have known couples, straight and gay, that likes to breakup simply just to makeup later. They says that it spice up the relationship. In the end, these couples never stayed together.

I don't believe in making up after breaking up. Reconciliation just wouldn't work at all. It takes a leap of faith to start a relationship, dedication to maintain one and determination to end one. It's one thing to fight and makeup, it's totally different when breakup is involved. If you can cry breakup just because of some nuisance, I seriously doubt how serious you are in the relationship. And if you are with someone who threaten you by breaking up with you, I'll say good riddance to him if I were you. Who need someone insecure in their life? Drama, well, it is my belief that drama is best enjoyed when it doesn't involve me.

Some say that if you truly loved someone, his flaws will seems like his best attributes. But when his best attributes starts to annoys you, then it is an indication that somehow you have loved him less. To be, or not to be: that is the question: whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?

Random Tandem

Someone offered to be my soulmate. I was not aware that the position is up for application. Maybe if I were to give both of us a chance to get to know each other, we might become soulmate eventually. But I highly doubt it. I personally believe that if one were to consciously make something happen, it would fail terribly. Though one may argue that it is the amount of effort one put into it, same as every single thing in life, but somehow I'm more incline to let things happen by itself. Not exactly the most proactive life philosophy, but as someone once told me, whatever floats your boat, guess it's floating mine. There was a saying that the bigger the expectation, the bigger the disappointment. With no expectation, even the smallest thing is a blessing. Self delusion maybe, but ignorance is bliss and indeed I am being blithely unconcerned.

So to the person who offered to be my soulmate, I am grateful of your kind offer but with a heavy heart, I have to decline the proposition. I wish you good luck in your search of soulmate and any other future endeavor.

In a totally unrelated note, somehow I have an urge to pen this down from my latest read of John Irving's The World According to Garp - they all settled into being the kind of friends many old friends become: this is, they were friends when they heard from each other – or when, occasionally, they got together. And when they were not in touch, they did not think of one another. Sad though it may sound, true that it does ring. Hmm... I think it got something to do with the Nickelback song playing on tv now, if today is the last day of your life. Totally random.

Provocation through Inspiration

It was weird to officially see a follower on this obscure corner in the cyberworld. True, there are friends who sometimes drop by, but to see "1 Follower" on the dashboard was, in a sense, awe inspiring. Of course, this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate those who drop by once in awhile, I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.

Nearing 30 seems to stir up quite some things in life. It was weird in a sense that everything from ideals in life, dreams of future, passion for words, self revelation and other random thoughts just gushes out of nowhere. Everything suddenly shines in a different light. I realized that I'm trapped in a rat race, or rather, I have always know that I'm in a rat race but just never have the motivation to get out of it. I was waiting for Godot.

I think my celestial stars are aligning in a particular way now that I'm nearing the big three-O. I realized that I have spend the pass few years doing nothing. It was at first fun because I thought I was enjoying my life to its fullest but then the depressing moment daunts me when I have to come to terms with the fact that I have wasted a big chunk of my prime achieving nothing, nothing memorable. There was no monetary gain, no asset, no hunky body, no success. Lucky for me, I don't dwell on the past too long. Nothing to be done about the past. Time to move on, that's what I told myself. The sudden paradigm shift was exciting.

There was a lot of anxiety involved when one makes life changing decisions no matter the age. But the relief one felt after affirming to that decision was overwhelming. I am generally happier. Going to office no longer seems so depressing , although I still wake up unwillingly. It opens up a whole lot of different perspectives in life.

I hope to start writing again. I think there lives an aspiring writer somewhere in me.

I think I need to pucker up and stop being so random in my thoughts.

Man and Boy

Thirty should be when you think - these are my golden years, these are my salad days, the best is yet to come - and all that old crap.

You are still young enough to stay up all night, but you are old enough to have a credit card. All the uncertainties and poverty of your teens and twenties are finally over - and good riddance to the lot of them - but the sap is still rising.

Thirty should be a good birthday. One of the best.

But how to celebrate reaching the big three-oh? With a collection of laughing single friends in some intimate bar or restaurant? Or surrounded by a loving wife and adoring small children in the bosom of the family home?

There has to be a good way of turning thirty. Perhaps they are all good ways.

All my images of this particular birthday seemed to be derived from some glossy American sitcom. When I thought of turning thirty, I thought of attractive thirty-nothing marrieds snogging like teens in the heat while in the background a gurgling baby crawls across some polished paraquat floor, or I saw a circle of good-looking, wisecracking friends drinking latte and showing off their impressive knitwear while wryly bemoaning the dating game. That was my problem. When I thought of turning thirty, I thought of somebody's life.

That's what thirty should be - grown-up without being dissapointed, settle without being complacent, worldly wise, but not so worldly wise that you feel like chucking yourself under a train. That time of your life.

By thirty you have finally realized that you are not going to live forever, of course. But surely that should only make the laughing, latte-drinking present taste even sweeter? You shouldn't let your inevitable death put a damper on things. Don't let the long, slow slide to the grave get in the way of good times.

Whether you are enjoying the last few years of unmarried freedom, or have recently move on to a more adult, more committed way of life with someone you love, it's difficult to imagine a truly awful way of turning thirty.

~Taken from Man And Boy by Tony Parsons~

I ain't bovvered

It is my fault to give you my msn id.
Seeing that we didn't connect upon adding each other, I know I should not have just removed you, I should have blocked you. But blocking you clog my block list, stranger, wouldn't it be better for both of us to remove each other from each others list?

It is my fault that I didn't get to screw you the first time we chat.
Indeed, I should have screwed you instead of him, he wasn't that fun to play with. But alas, no point crying over spilled cum. Let us not hamper each others hunt?

It is my fault to have such an unremarkable name.
Common as it is, I'm naturally infatuated with it, I care less of how you think of it. You don't see me questioning your name right?

It is my fault to constantly change my msn pictures from a myriad of source.
As much as it annoys you, it has became a fetish of mine, and as far as fetish goes, it does not concerns you. Can't you mind your own matters?

It is my fault that I do not make an impression on you.
As you do not impress me, why would I waste the very little of my charm on you? Why don't we both move on with our life?

It is my fault.
Am I bovvered? Am I bovvered though? Look at my face. Is it bovvered? Ask me if I'm bovvered! Look, face, bovvered? I ain't bovvered!