Been There, Done That, Messed Around

I saw this profile with the tagline, "looking for group fun. where can i get it?" and I thought to myself... hmm.. how did I get my first group fun? How many is consider a group anyway? Three or more than that? I think hard and I remember my first threesome, but the first time with more than three? Hmm... that seems to be straining my grey cells too much.

When people ask me about my sexual experience, I usually reply "been there, done that, messed around", which cover most conventional sexual experience plus a few less conventional one. Although there were some milestones yet to be achieved, but those are beyond acceptable for most people anyway. I am daring but sometimes it is best to wait for things to happen than to actively seek it out.

I guess when I look back at my short life, there were things that I do not need to regret over not doing.

Life Without Dreams

Life without dreams is living without hope
But when you know that the most fervent of hope can never come true
That the dream has shattered into dust that vanishes in the air
What is left of life but a lonely journey towards death

Foolish Boy

Foolish boy,
Think yourself brave by staring death in the eyes?
Beware boy,
When death stares back,
You'll pee your pants.

Foolish boy,
Think you have all the time in your life?
Know this boy,
Life will denies your right to live,
Just when you found the meaning to your life.

Foolish boy,
Life is numbered,
Counting down.
Take hold boy,
There are no other time to live besides now,
When death is just hanging nearby.

Foolish boy,
Did you not hear the roaring pain?
Did you not feel the tickling cry?
Stop dreaming boy,
Wipe the tears and start walking,
It's not like you have a choice.

Foolish boy,
Do not cry,
That's how the cycle of life goes,
Round and round it spirals down,
As to where?
You are bound to find out.

Another Year

I'be been absent from here for quite some time. If not for a friend who asked me about this, I would have probably forgotten about it. I guess I just got lost in life again.

A lot of things has happened, good things bad things. Sometimes you don't realize how significant things can be until it happens, by then there is no point crying. I'm seeing life in a very different perspective now, yet I'm still holding on to my old believe. It's a contradiction that tires me down often. I know what I should do, yet I can't find the strength to partake in a new endeavor. It's a horrible feeling.

I keep reminding myself to think positive, but now I realize, those kind of mentality is often self-delusional in a way. So much is locked up inside, yet there are no comfortable ways to release it. So much secrets, so little time.

Random thoughts that stem from the same misery. Only those that knows the truth knows what it is, yet they too do not understands it, because only I do. That is probably what hurt most. The inability to share with others what you are feeling inside. Yet at the same time, I do not need other to ask me about it, because I know that they cannot understand it. Sympathy is not what I need.

溺爱 (1)

爱上你，是那样的没有理由，爱上你，那样的不能自拔，仿佛陷入流沙一样无奈，无力，爱上你，是那样的不知所错，惶恐万分。你的一举一动，都在牵动着我的心，使我感觉到世界的精彩。而明天，你就要离开了，我有好多话想对你说。

魔剑录