Woman are mostly conscious about the lingarie they wear, see how big Victoria's Secret become. Woman like it, straight men like it even more. Gay men likes them too, but purely from the aesthetic point of view. Why don't men has such a line in the fashion industry, something big like Victoria's Secrets... It would be nice to see a show where hunky male model walks out in skimpy sexy under garment...
Commercial mens underwear can be so boring sometimes. Even those in porn looks boring. Although a toned handsome man in a pair of simple white brief looks the most sexy... but still, I wish there were more varieties to look at and choose from. To see everyone wearing the same pair of CK boxer brief is starting to get on my-nerves. Somehow, gay men seems to be in two extreme group of CK brief or pasar malam brief.
Underwears usually comes in a pack of 3, except for boxers. Sometimes it is hard to decide on the brand and style. Should I go for those with the name printed on the band so that it shows when I'm wearing a low back jean? Or should I go for mini that squeeze my butt and crotch onto a bubbly shape? Do I go for g-strings to eliminate the unsightly line when I don my skin tight leather pants? Should I really wear jockstrap when I'm going to gym for the sake of being truly sporty? Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Not that I have a collector's fetish towards underwear, but it is nice to have assorted type of underwear to cater for different occasion. A pair of sexy undie really does spice up the sex life. But having 3 pairs of g-string is simply too much to ask for. I really only need one which I probably would only wear once in a very long time. So at times, I find my-self having the evil thought of switching a pair of g-string with that box of 3 piece boring brief that I am buying. But conscience get the best out of me. Imagine buying a pack of g-string just to find that a pair has been switched by some perverted guy. But then again, it's your own fault for not checking...
I wonder if there is a shop that allows you to pick your own undie, that way, I really only to buy once for my year long sexual fantasy role playing... Or maybe I should underwear-pool. You know, three guys buying three pack of different under wear and exchange it among themselves... It sounds oh so weird...
From an age of innocence to a time of flagrant debauchery; from finding love to losing hope, this is the life journey of a Chinese gay guy born in KL, Malaysia where he tries to make sense of his homosexuality, his life and the world around him.
30 August 2006
28 August 2006
Love VS Sex
"So, how's things between you and that slutty bf of yours?"
"Cold war I guess."
"For goodness sake, dump him already. You deserve better than a jerk like him."
"But I'm tired already."
"Wouldn't you be even more tired with him doing those things he did behind your back?"
"Do you know that we are both top? We are not sexually compatible."
"Bullshit. Just excuses for him to fool around. You don't go fooling around yourself.... Did you?"
"Fuck off."
Love and sex are both important. Sex without love is ONS. Love without sex is tragedy. We would want to have both, but in essence, not many can be as lucky. It's easy to get sex, it's just a matter of quality sex or not. If you are desperate enough, a mouth and a hole is all that you need and everybody has those. But love, well, it's not as easy. We need to find someone that we are comfortable with, someone that we can communicate with, someone that we like. So the question is, is sex an integral part of love?
If it is, then that means our pre-requisite for love is the sexual role one play. It would probably be easier for a versatile but what if you are not? Then should the first question that you ask your prospect candidate "Top, Bottom or Versatile?". Isn't that just the thing that most love searcher despise? But what if you were to get to know someone and end up falling madly in love with him, just to find out that you are both sexually incompatible? Sure, when you have had enough sex, you'll know that sex is over exaggerated but still it is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship. Role conversion, well, that's just pulling the string too thin. People says that they are willing to convert for the sake of their love one but sometimes reality kicks in painfully, literally. Of course, nobody is born a bottom, it's a matter of willingness to try. But still, it remains an uncertainty. If all else fails and both of you are really unable to satisfy each other sexually, should you just break up or change it to a open relationship instead?
Some relationship starts with sex. So, sex is not a problem. Yet, people in such relationship are weary. Weary about the fact that their partners are willing to try sex without love. There is no guarantee of how faithful one is. Sure, it's all a matter of trust. But still, we wouldn't be able to shrug off that tiny voice of insecurity.
It's not easy to find a person that we are comfortable with and when one has been through the rollercoaster of love long enough, we learn to know what kind of man we want. Once we hone in, we would wish that it stay still and hope that it last. People say that gay love can't last because they have seen too many tragedies to know better. But even if for straight, their love don't last either, that is where divorce comes in. Maybe what we need is legalizing gay marriage but we all know how unlikely that is here in this part of the world.
"Cold war I guess."
"For goodness sake, dump him already. You deserve better than a jerk like him."
"But I'm tired already."
"Wouldn't you be even more tired with him doing those things he did behind your back?"
"Do you know that we are both top? We are not sexually compatible."
"Bullshit. Just excuses for him to fool around. You don't go fooling around yourself.... Did you?"
"Fuck off."
Love and sex are both important. Sex without love is ONS. Love without sex is tragedy. We would want to have both, but in essence, not many can be as lucky. It's easy to get sex, it's just a matter of quality sex or not. If you are desperate enough, a mouth and a hole is all that you need and everybody has those. But love, well, it's not as easy. We need to find someone that we are comfortable with, someone that we can communicate with, someone that we like. So the question is, is sex an integral part of love?
If it is, then that means our pre-requisite for love is the sexual role one play. It would probably be easier for a versatile but what if you are not? Then should the first question that you ask your prospect candidate "Top, Bottom or Versatile?". Isn't that just the thing that most love searcher despise? But what if you were to get to know someone and end up falling madly in love with him, just to find out that you are both sexually incompatible? Sure, when you have had enough sex, you'll know that sex is over exaggerated but still it is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship. Role conversion, well, that's just pulling the string too thin. People says that they are willing to convert for the sake of their love one but sometimes reality kicks in painfully, literally. Of course, nobody is born a bottom, it's a matter of willingness to try. But still, it remains an uncertainty. If all else fails and both of you are really unable to satisfy each other sexually, should you just break up or change it to a open relationship instead?
Some relationship starts with sex. So, sex is not a problem. Yet, people in such relationship are weary. Weary about the fact that their partners are willing to try sex without love. There is no guarantee of how faithful one is. Sure, it's all a matter of trust. But still, we wouldn't be able to shrug off that tiny voice of insecurity.
It's not easy to find a person that we are comfortable with and when one has been through the rollercoaster of love long enough, we learn to know what kind of man we want. Once we hone in, we would wish that it stay still and hope that it last. People say that gay love can't last because they have seen too many tragedies to know better. But even if for straight, their love don't last either, that is where divorce comes in. Maybe what we need is legalizing gay marriage but we all know how unlikely that is here in this part of the world.
26 August 2006
Standard of Measurement
How do you answer the question, are you a good fucker or good bottom? Should we be humble or should we be proud? Yes or no doesn't seems quite the answer. Still, how do you judge your own performance? Do people send out questionaires nowadays to evaluate their sexual performance? Or do we look at the repeat order and the frequency of the repeat orders? Even if you perform well this time, does it mean you'll be able to perform as good next time? A certain trick might work on some, but it can disgust someone else too. How can be say how skillful we are in this matter?
If someone were to say that they are good in bed, we obviously have very high expectation of what we are getting. And more often then not, it would turn out to be a disaster because nobody who says that they are good can ever be as good as we want them to be. It's best to leave it to the unknown. But then again, it would be good to know how good a person is too, if you know that it's gonna be a toothpick, you'll probably wanna stay home to pick your own teeth instead. Plus, if you say that you are a good bottom, does it not imply that your hole is loose for you have encountered one too many prick to make you the master you are today? Loose means good? Tight means good? If you are tight, you probably haven't done it as often to make you good I presume. Or maybe it was the fable hole tightening secret technique...
How do you answer the question, are you good looking? Obviously if a lot of people says that you are, you probably are. But what about the rest of the world who just look normal. I look normal sounds so uninviting. Or should we just shove them our picture and let them decide for us? How many rejection can we accept until we start to think that we are ugly instead?
But bear in mind that most people post a picture that they deem nice, so there might be a certain degree of differences between the photo and the real deal. It's call being photogenic. Some people look better in photo while others better in real. Somehow, people have this expectation of what you see is what you get. If you get something better out of the deal, we call ourselves lucky. If it's something less then expected, you call the others liar. And it is always the other person's fault for we remain same and true all the way. For goodness sake, people gain or lose weight, they change their hair style and color and last but not least, people age. With so many factors involved, is it not possible that people look different from one picture to another? Plus people didn't say that they are good looking, what the hell did you go imagining stuff and all for?
If someone were to say that they are good in bed, we obviously have very high expectation of what we are getting. And more often then not, it would turn out to be a disaster because nobody who says that they are good can ever be as good as we want them to be. It's best to leave it to the unknown. But then again, it would be good to know how good a person is too, if you know that it's gonna be a toothpick, you'll probably wanna stay home to pick your own teeth instead. Plus, if you say that you are a good bottom, does it not imply that your hole is loose for you have encountered one too many prick to make you the master you are today? Loose means good? Tight means good? If you are tight, you probably haven't done it as often to make you good I presume. Or maybe it was the fable hole tightening secret technique...
How do you answer the question, are you good looking? Obviously if a lot of people says that you are, you probably are. But what about the rest of the world who just look normal. I look normal sounds so uninviting. Or should we just shove them our picture and let them decide for us? How many rejection can we accept until we start to think that we are ugly instead?
But bear in mind that most people post a picture that they deem nice, so there might be a certain degree of differences between the photo and the real deal. It's call being photogenic. Some people look better in photo while others better in real. Somehow, people have this expectation of what you see is what you get. If you get something better out of the deal, we call ourselves lucky. If it's something less then expected, you call the others liar. And it is always the other person's fault for we remain same and true all the way. For goodness sake, people gain or lose weight, they change their hair style and color and last but not least, people age. With so many factors involved, is it not possible that people look different from one picture to another? Plus people didn't say that they are good looking, what the hell did you go imagining stuff and all for?
17 August 2006
Gossip is a vice enjoyed vicariously
"How could you say something like that? You don't even know him."
"That's the whole point isn't it."
"I'm disgusted by people like you, spreading venom about others as if you know any better."
"Lighten up, pal. I'm just sharing with you what I heard."
"Well, it's wrong. Plain wrong. You know how hurtful those words are. How unfair it is to the person involved?"
"Don't go judgemental over me."
"..."
"Fine. Don't talk."
We enjoy gossiping, straight or otherwise. Face it, no matter how righteous one think of themselves, they have to admit that gossip spice up their life. How else could we carry daily conversation? Do we really spend our time discussing the political struggle or world economic trend or the reaction of uranium in a reactor core? Ahem, maybe some of us do but most would probably steer clear of those direction.
There is a price to pay to be famous. And being gossip about is one of those small print that listed in a obscure corner of a dictionary thick social contract. Being famous does not mean having a billboard all over town or TV commercial on every major channel. It simply means that when people are free with nothing much to do, they would bring you up as their topic for time-wasting purposes. A backup plan in case all else has failed.
People who gossip, does not know the better. We just tell what we heard and make judgement or accusation base on heresay. How far off the heresay is to the truth become irrelevant because, at the end of the day, we don't really care. The whole point is that we are not taking responsibility of what we said. And we don't expect the person we are gossiping off suddenly turn up and indulge us with the truth. Nor do we appretiate self-righteous friends that feels the truth need to be straighten...
"That's the whole point isn't it."
"I'm disgusted by people like you, spreading venom about others as if you know any better."
"Lighten up, pal. I'm just sharing with you what I heard."
"Well, it's wrong. Plain wrong. You know how hurtful those words are. How unfair it is to the person involved?"
"Don't go judgemental over me."
"..."
"Fine. Don't talk."
We enjoy gossiping, straight or otherwise. Face it, no matter how righteous one think of themselves, they have to admit that gossip spice up their life. How else could we carry daily conversation? Do we really spend our time discussing the political struggle or world economic trend or the reaction of uranium in a reactor core? Ahem, maybe some of us do but most would probably steer clear of those direction.
There is a price to pay to be famous. And being gossip about is one of those small print that listed in a obscure corner of a dictionary thick social contract. Being famous does not mean having a billboard all over town or TV commercial on every major channel. It simply means that when people are free with nothing much to do, they would bring you up as their topic for time-wasting purposes. A backup plan in case all else has failed.
People who gossip, does not know the better. We just tell what we heard and make judgement or accusation base on heresay. How far off the heresay is to the truth become irrelevant because, at the end of the day, we don't really care. The whole point is that we are not taking responsibility of what we said. And we don't expect the person we are gossiping off suddenly turn up and indulge us with the truth. Nor do we appretiate self-righteous friends that feels the truth need to be straighten...
Ecclesiasticus 20:20
“So he still has feeling for you?”
“I'm not sure. I think so. His friends think so too.”
“What about you? You have feeling for him?”
“No, I don't have a feel for him. Not the way he has for me anyway.”
“What about his friend? You like him?”
“Well, he is cute, but no, I don't think I have feelings for him either.”
“Don't tell me you are still lingering on that straight colleague of yours.”
“Hehe, yeah, I still like him best.”
“Oh bugger. Move on dude. Grab the cute one before he is gone.”
“I told you, I don't have a feeling for the cute one.”
“At least come clean with the guy.”
“I'll see how things go.”
Some people are just lousy in saying no. Maybe it is in their nature to be kind and gentle to other people's feeling. Maybe their indecisiveness is a weakness of them towards the people around them. Regardless, at the end of the day, they have to come clean. It's all a matter of time. Often, the longer the wait, the deeper the cut. Is it their fault if they don't voice their discomfort at the first sign of danger? That's subjective. If you are an indecisive person, you'll probably understand very well what it meant to procrastinate. Head strong people wouldn't understand it, just like you wouldn't understand what it meant to be drunk until you intoxicated yourself with a few shot. Quality drunk, ah, heavenly bliss indeed. Anyway, of course it's never fair for the person who are doing the waiting. Queuing in line for two hours just to be informed that the movie tickets are all sold out, that's frustrating. Still, we have to move on.
There are also another kind of person who is lousy in saying no. The kind that is slow in breaking up. They have long since ejected themselves out of the relationship, searching their adventure outside, yet they are still maintaining the relationship nevertheless. They are just sitting there and waiting for the other person to come to their senses and leave voluntarily. They feel that it is hurtful to dump you but they don't feel that it hurt even more for you to find out that they are playing around outside and all the sweet words are just lies to react to your constant bickering for attention. Eventually, the truth will come out and the inevitable unfolds its hideous wings to take off. In their defense, they will say that they have given enough hints for you to leave, just that you can't or are unwilling to take the hint, then it becomes your own burden that they wish no part of. Hardly justifiable but as if they would care about the aftermath of their action. It probably takes time to heal from such rejections, but it is often wise to get into rehabilitation and move on with life as soon as possible. He is having the fun of his life while you are sunk in despair wondering what you have done wrong or cursing him with voodoo or whatnot. What's the point? Move on. The world is full of wonders. Anyway, life is too short for us to constantly linger in the past or chasing after the impossible. Savor the reminiscence like an expensive fine wine, don't abuse it like a pack of cheap beers.
“I'm not sure. I think so. His friends think so too.”
“What about you? You have feeling for him?”
“No, I don't have a feel for him. Not the way he has for me anyway.”
“What about his friend? You like him?”
“Well, he is cute, but no, I don't think I have feelings for him either.”
“Don't tell me you are still lingering on that straight colleague of yours.”
“Hehe, yeah, I still like him best.”
“Oh bugger. Move on dude. Grab the cute one before he is gone.”
“I told you, I don't have a feeling for the cute one.”
“At least come clean with the guy.”
“I'll see how things go.”
Some people are just lousy in saying no. Maybe it is in their nature to be kind and gentle to other people's feeling. Maybe their indecisiveness is a weakness of them towards the people around them. Regardless, at the end of the day, they have to come clean. It's all a matter of time. Often, the longer the wait, the deeper the cut. Is it their fault if they don't voice their discomfort at the first sign of danger? That's subjective. If you are an indecisive person, you'll probably understand very well what it meant to procrastinate. Head strong people wouldn't understand it, just like you wouldn't understand what it meant to be drunk until you intoxicated yourself with a few shot. Quality drunk, ah, heavenly bliss indeed. Anyway, of course it's never fair for the person who are doing the waiting. Queuing in line for two hours just to be informed that the movie tickets are all sold out, that's frustrating. Still, we have to move on.
There are also another kind of person who is lousy in saying no. The kind that is slow in breaking up. They have long since ejected themselves out of the relationship, searching their adventure outside, yet they are still maintaining the relationship nevertheless. They are just sitting there and waiting for the other person to come to their senses and leave voluntarily. They feel that it is hurtful to dump you but they don't feel that it hurt even more for you to find out that they are playing around outside and all the sweet words are just lies to react to your constant bickering for attention. Eventually, the truth will come out and the inevitable unfolds its hideous wings to take off. In their defense, they will say that they have given enough hints for you to leave, just that you can't or are unwilling to take the hint, then it becomes your own burden that they wish no part of. Hardly justifiable but as if they would care about the aftermath of their action. It probably takes time to heal from such rejections, but it is often wise to get into rehabilitation and move on with life as soon as possible. He is having the fun of his life while you are sunk in despair wondering what you have done wrong or cursing him with voodoo or whatnot. What's the point? Move on. The world is full of wonders. Anyway, life is too short for us to constantly linger in the past or chasing after the impossible. Savor the reminiscence like an expensive fine wine, don't abuse it like a pack of cheap beers.
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