溺愛

愛你，寵你
是否應無止境地呵護你？
疼你，惜你
是否表露我於你的情意？
氣你，罵你
莫讓我的溺愛變成失意。

秋意

明月夜，人团圆，
独守寒处孤枕眠。
纵思量，泪两行，
凄声回荡哭断肠。

遗弃

分手的原因
在关系决裂的当下
变得无关重要
毕竟一切已成往事
你离开是事实
我被遗弃也是
我俩的缠绵只留待追忆
我不会怪罪你
也不会迁怒自己
那是你的选择
我爱你
所以我尊重你的抉择
我的感慨只为抚平我的思绪
不为挽回你
不为挽回我们

坦诚

你自己也很清楚
要维持一段感情
最重要的
是两人之间的互相信任。
你自己也曾因察觉对方的谎言
而感到伤心和愤怒。
既然你深知爱情的成败因素
那你为何还有所隐瞒?
你应该知道
你那似不经意的省略
是那么处心积虑的隐瞒。
无论你如何经营一段感情
你的努力最终只会付诸流水
因为不是对方把你的付出当成理所当然
而是你为自己最初的背叛付出了代价
最终那感情告吹。

Of loving, again.

The best way to get over a pass relationship is to be involve in a new relationship, but the difficult part is, can one open their heart to another when it was battered and incomplete. Only through time would the heart heals and the scar faded, only then can the person love again.

离别愁

因为重要所以说了三次，
保重，保重，保重;
这让离别多沉重。

因为尊重所以回复三次，
抱歉，抱歉，抱歉;
这让回忆多苦涩。

Lover's Guilt

Which is worse? The pain of being hurt by someone you love, or the pain in hurting someone you love?

Scar could heal, until one day it is gone, though you might recall still the fault he did to you, but your painful memory gone and replaced. But the pain lingers still in him, though he hurt you, but he pains still. Though he rejoice in you getting over him, but he harbours the guilt, of which he has did you wrong. Mayhap you will feel better knowing that he suffer, mayhap you laugh at him for reason you would care less. Be it so, that is no longer your concern. Good riddance.  

可惜没如果

那么多如果
可能如果我
可惜没如果
没有你和我
只剩下结果

想起你，我的身体依然隐隐悸动。

I'm sorry for your lost

My dear, my condolence to you for the passing of your dad. I know that it has been a rocky relationship between the two of you, but I also know of the strong sense of responsibility you have towards your family, you must feel very bad. But I know your will is strong, so though I silently feel your sadness, I know you will sail through this moment just as you conquered all the hurdles in life.

You only learn

I vow to love you more from now on
to fall in love with you madly as the seconds goes by
only to find that I learn to love too late
that this love will be in vain.

You only learn how to live when you can no longer live;

You only learn how to love when you can no longer love;

Why is it that we only learn when it is too late to learn?

Lost in a quandary

As much as I missed him and love him, as much as I want him back in my life, I know very well that it is not possible. I knew what I have done, and the pain I have caused him. Though he never blamed me, but I know very well how hard it hit him. Life will never be the same for us, no matter what direction in life we went. Such are my silly ways to make amends for the wrongs that I did, eventhough he is likely to care not what I am doing, I shall carry this burden with me, for it is my sin and mine alone to atone.

This love was...

“This love was a torment, and he resented bitterly the subjugation in which it held him; he was a prisoner and he longed for freedom. Sometimes he awoke in the morning and felt nothing; his soul leaped, for he thought he was free; he loved no longer; but in a little while, as he grew wide awake, the pain settled in his heart, and he knew that he was not cured yet.” ― W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage

失落幻想

那一天他朋友问我，“你喜欢他吗？”
我微笑摇头说，“没有。”
但是这番话却让我想起了他熟睡的样子，回忆起他谈话中的淡淡忧愁和眼神中的孤寂。他那一句“我不喜欢现在的我，越是清醒，我越讨厌自己”不断的回荡在耳边。

不否认他是有吸引力的，但是更多的是他让我想起了你。看着他就像是看着你，你们之间有太多相似的地方，他慰藉了我对你的渴望。又或者这么说，我把我对你的思念变成一种假想，以为他和你的背影交错。但是我知道你俩是不同的，你俩根本没有相似的地方，一切只不过是我失落的幻想。

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, my dear, wherever you are. Though I think of you less now, yet you'll forever be in my thoughts. My one and only love. I miss you dearly.

依然思念

回忆的次数的确少了
但是每次的思念却一样的强烈。
我总会在眼角看见你的踪迹
总是有那么一个人和你一样的高
顶着同一个发型
和你一样有着黝黑的肤色
出现在眼帘
但是却从来不会是你出现在转角处。

我天天都留意面子书上关于你的信息
尽管我不会点进你个人的空间
但是每当看见有人提起你的名字
我都会仔细观看
希望能够看见现在的你
快乐地生活着。

你鲜少会在面子书上贴文
所以当我看见你说生活不如意时
我有那么一霎那想要去了解和安慰你
但是我的理性终究压抑着冲动
我害怕你根本不稀罕我的关心。

其实我在面子书上的每则贴文
都是以你为假想
我幻想你还关心着我的生活动态
只是基于无可避免的原因而选择默默关注。
我由衷的希望
你离开是因为你要我好好的一个人去生活
尽管我知道是在欺骗自己
但是有时候活在谎言中比面对事实来的更好
毕竟编织的梦想是那么的美满
那么的充实。

唏嘘后

要不是有人问我
是否还在等待你的归来，
我还以为时间终于抚平了我的伤感
让你在我脑海中消失。
虽然你的背影确实模糊了
但是那份愧疚却依然强烈，
那份思念依旧存在。

我对他说
有些人尽管你在等待但是终究不会归来；
这就是我所看清的事实。
从你离去那一天开始我就明了，
虽然牵挂
但是唏嘘后人生依然向前推进；
再多的泪水也无法撼动那不争的事实。
我在回味的是你匆匆离去时留给我的疼痛，
一份只属于我的回忆。

原来人生中的记忆真的可以被时间冲淡，
但是那份埋藏在深处的思念
却又这么轻易的浮现。

还有几天就正式迈入两年了，
亲爱的
离开后你过的还好吗？

Say Something

Say something... I'm giving up on you...

看透

心中起伏如浪潮，原来我的心没有离开过你的身边，说看透只是欺骗自己，我痛苦的泪落向何处？

看透不过是我告诉身边人的话，
在我的心中我清楚知道我所执迷的背影，
敛藏着我对你的亏欠。
但是你已远去，
留下的痕迹已看不见轮廓，
甜美的记忆总是消逝的最快，
我让心隐隐作痛，
只为了留住我对你的思念。

痛

对你的思念，我不会斩，也不会忘……我选择痛！让我心的刺痛来记住那种感觉，让我无时无刻都感受这种刺痛，只有这样，我才会一直记住，一直……不忘。

《求魔》

Vow

I encounter millions of bodies in my life; of these millions, I may desire some hundreds; but of these hundreds, I love only one.
Roland Barthes, A Lover's Discourse: Fragments

It takes being ill to remind me of how much I missed you. Just not too long ago, I thought that the feeling has finally retreat into the background as a low murmur, but then it screams and now it echos loudly. I'm glad that the feeling returns; reminds me of where I vow to place my love.