Provocation through Inspiration

It was weird to officially see a follower on this obscure corner in the cyberworld. True, there are friends who sometimes drop by, but to see "1 Follower" on the dashboard was, in a sense, awe inspiring. Of course, this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate those who drop by once in awhile, I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.

Nearing 30 seems to stir up quite some things in life. It was weird in a sense that everything from ideals in life, dreams of future, passion for words, self revelation and other random thoughts just gushes out of nowhere. Everything suddenly shines in a different light. I realized that I'm trapped in a rat race, or rather, I have always know that I'm in a rat race but just never have the motivation to get out of it. I was waiting for Godot.

I think my celestial stars are aligning in a particular way now that I'm nearing the big three-O. I realized that I have spend the pass few years doing nothing. It was at first fun because I thought I was enjoying my life to its fullest but then the depressing moment daunts me when I have to come to terms with the fact that I have wasted a big chunk of my prime achieving nothing, nothing memorable. There was no monetary gain, no asset, no hunky body, no success. Lucky for me, I don't dwell on the past too long. Nothing to be done about the past. Time to move on, that's what I told myself. The sudden paradigm shift was exciting.

There was a lot of anxiety involved when one makes life changing decisions no matter the age. But the relief one felt after affirming to that decision was overwhelming. I am generally happier. Going to office no longer seems so depressing , although I still wake up unwillingly. It opens up a whole lot of different perspectives in life.

I hope to start writing again. I think there lives an aspiring writer somewhere in me.

I think I need to pucker up and stop being so random in my thoughts.

Man and Boy

Thirty should be when you think - these are my golden years, these are my salad days, the best is yet to come - and all that old crap.

You are still young enough to stay up all night, but you are old enough to have a credit card. All the uncertainties and poverty of your teens and twenties are finally over - and good riddance to the lot of them - but the sap is still rising.

Thirty should be a good birthday. One of the best.

But how to celebrate reaching the big three-oh? With a collection of laughing single friends in some intimate bar or restaurant? Or surrounded by a loving wife and adoring small children in the bosom of the family home?

There has to be a good way of turning thirty. Perhaps they are all good ways.

All my images of this particular birthday seemed to be derived from some glossy American sitcom. When I thought of turning thirty, I thought of attractive thirty-nothing marrieds snogging like teens in the heat while in the background a gurgling baby crawls across some polished paraquat floor, or I saw a circle of good-looking, wisecracking friends drinking latte and showing off their impressive knitwear while wryly bemoaning the dating game. That was my problem. When I thought of turning thirty, I thought of somebody's life.

That's what thirty should be - grown-up without being dissapointed, settle without being complacent, worldly wise, but not so worldly wise that you feel like chucking yourself under a train. That time of your life.

By thirty you have finally realized that you are not going to live forever, of course. But surely that should only make the laughing, latte-drinking present taste even sweeter? You shouldn't let your inevitable death put a damper on things. Don't let the long, slow slide to the grave get in the way of good times.

Whether you are enjoying the last few years of unmarried freedom, or have recently move on to a more adult, more committed way of life with someone you love, it's difficult to imagine a truly awful way of turning thirty.

~Taken from Man And Boy by Tony Parsons~

I ain't bovvered

It is my fault to give you my msn id.
Seeing that we didn't connect upon adding each other, I know I should not have just removed you, I should have blocked you. But blocking you clog my block list, stranger, wouldn't it be better for both of us to remove each other from each others list?

It is my fault that I didn't get to screw you the first time we chat.
Indeed, I should have screwed you instead of him, he wasn't that fun to play with. But alas, no point crying over spilled cum. Let us not hamper each others hunt?

It is my fault to have such an unremarkable name.
Common as it is, I'm naturally infatuated with it, I care less of how you think of it. You don't see me questioning your name right?

It is my fault to constantly change my msn pictures from a myriad of source.
As much as it annoys you, it has became a fetish of mine, and as far as fetish goes, it does not concerns you. Can't you mind your own matters?

It is my fault that I do not make an impression on you.
As you do not impress me, why would I waste the very little of my charm on you? Why don't we both move on with our life?

It is my fault.
Am I bovvered? Am I bovvered though? Look at my face. Is it bovvered? Ask me if I'm bovvered! Look, face, bovvered? I ain't bovvered!

Sexy Marathoner

Not that I have any time at all to look at men. Well, actually there were lots of time, but I swear that all my concentration are on finishing the run. But then there were time, lots of them actually, where men overtook me. Men drench in sweat. Men in some rather tight or short outfit. Men with strong legs. Men with well defined butt protruding through the sweat soak shorts. I think I saw some rather cute guy running, but I definitely saw a lot of cute guys at the finishing line, all healthy men with great endurance and stamina. Obviously I'm not implying that I am one seeing that I'm limping now.

But the more astonishing men that I see are not good looking or fit men, but men in their senior years and men who seems to be overweight. That all these uncles in their fifties or sixties are running at a constant speed for the full marathon while the rest of the young men are walking, that's respect. Then there are men and women who seemingly are overweight but are also running at a better pace. Salute!

These men are definitely different from the men I saw in gym. There were only a handful of muscle men I see, but I see a lot more that is lean fit. I wonder where all they went to gym... obviously not the same one as I go to.

不抱怨的世界

~如果不喜欢一件事，就改变那件事；如果无法改变，就改变自己的态度。不要抱怨。
~批评就像其他的抱怨，也可能是一种吹牛，自夸的形式。
这是我对这几天所发生的事的意见。

~当周遭的人在抱怨，你也觉得没有必要指正对方，而只是观察着这样的现象。因为你即不批评，也不抱怨，对方也不必为自己辩解，抱怨很快就止息了。
本来我不想多说但又耐不着，想卡一脚。。。看来要换手带了。

~“处理”和“抱怨”不同。“处理”是分享你对已经发生的事件有何感受，而不是去重朔这些事件。当你在“处理”某一些经验时，要确定自己说的话都是聚焦于自己的感受，而不是你对这件事的解读和说明。
好象又不用换叻。。。