Go With A Blast

"Don't you worry when you do it raw? STD? Aids?"
"You can get STD through oral sex too, rubber doesn't necessary protects you."
"At least it minimize the chance of you getting infected."
"Nothing much I could do if luck strikes right?"
"You have to be responsible for your own life. You can die a horrible death from Aids and STD you know."
"Yeah, I presume that cancer, heart attack are pleasant death? The fact is, if I die, I die. It can be a car ramming into me or it can be some disease like cancer or Aids. Not much reason for me to worry about my death when it comes."
"You might infect others."
"Dare to play, dare to face. It's nobody's fault but your own."
"I doubt that you'll be so carefree when you are infected."
"You trying to jinx me?"
"No, I'm just saying."
"There was this time, a long time ago, when I was in a group and I did raw with this guy. Afterwards, he whisper into my ear saying what if I tell you I have Aids."
"Oh my god."
"I just look at him and said, then we die together."
"Aren't you worried? Or scared?"
"Like I said, dare to play, dare to face. No point crying over spilled milk."
"So are you positive?"
"Luckily no. But then again, it might be dormant now."
"Gosh."

To look death in the eye requires enormous courage, but when death stares back, we'll be scared shit and piss in our pants. But why do some of us has such apathy towards life? It seems like the whole reason of their existence was to live life happily and die young. Or maybe it is because they have yet to come face to face with death. That they have yet to feel the terror and regrets of life slipping away.

Regrets often comes when there is nothing we can do about something. We learn to live with regrets but when it is life that we regret not living, it became an ultimatum. Regrets no longer carry any meaning. I believe that people that does not cherish life are likely people that does not have a reason to live. Some people live for their family, some live to achieve a dream, people live for their own selfish reason. Because of these reasons, we try to make the best of our existence in this world. But without a reason, life becomes a sightseeing journey instead, we just drift along the river of life.

And then there is irony. The great irony of life is that just when you have found a reason to live, you'll be denied of the chance to live. It's like a karma thing.

Wisdom & Age

Chinese has a saying, 人老精，鬼老灵, which can be directly translated as man old smarter, ghost old... more powerful? In plain english, we get wiser with age. Which is more or less true but recently I notice that it wasn't really the case afterall. There are some rather smartass kids nowadays that make some friends turning and spinning like a toy. I applaud their skill though I'm still very much amazed on the extent of benefit/damage they can squeeze out at their young age. Gone are the days of when kids are victims of the old, now, a young twink can easily make you regret of your taste in tender meat.

You're Just Not That Into Him Afterall

In the movie "He's Just Not That Into You", a couple of gay says that the sign is different between straight and gay people. For gay people, it only takes us 3 seconds of eye contact to determine if both people can hit it off, and 2 seconds for us to decide that we are not a match. So much more simpler then our heterosexual counterparts. I guess gays all over the world are alike, it's all about the sex for us.

But what the movie said about strung out was very true. When you really like someone, you'll make an effort to date the person. You'll hope to see his number everytime your phone rings, that you'll bring out the person's name in any random conversation. You'll wish you could write a song about that person. That's the rule, the sign. But consider this, that if you let this feeling simmer, allowing it to sink in without taking any action, that you allow the longing for the person to torture you emotionally. After a few weeks, you'll realize that the longing has subsided, or that another person is occupying your thoughts, you realized then that you're just not that into him afterall.

The Elusive Feline

I have noticed this elusive feline tattoo all over man. I couldn't figure out if it was a tiger or a panther as I never did get a chance to closely examine those man with the tattoo. At first I thought that I was looking at the same man because I figured that it's rather unlikely that people get the same tattoo. But when I see it all over the body, on the shoulder, on the back, on the abdomen, I suspect that this must be a famous tattoo of sort.

So on this boring weekend, I went googling for this elusive feline and found it on Karl Fredrik Ljungberg, a Swedish footballer for Seattle Sounders FC now (Arsenal and West Ham United before this ) and a CK underwear model, and being a rather typical gay man, that's all I really care about. It seems that this panther tattoo on his abdomen is just a replica of a bigger panther on his back.

And there is even a youtube ad of him shooting the CK ad, kicking balls in his whitey. Yummiliscious. Ah, the things you learn by paying attention to barely naked men.