14 December 2014

Fetish 101 : Underwear (I)

This is a collage of me and some of my underwear and swimwear, although some was not mine. It might seem weird, but I do enjoy putting on other people's underwear and snapping a picture, because I don't need to own it, I just want to know how I look in it. It started with brief to boxer brief, then slowly expanded into jockstrap, thong and other peculiar underwear article.

I think all gay men like to see other men in underwear, but whether it would add to the intensity of his sexual encounters is what differentiate those with underwear fetish and those not. If it's just a pleasant sight before you rip it off and remain naked till the end, you probably don't have underwear fetish. But if you get a kick out of having an underwear on most of the time during the session, then it's likely you do have underwear fetish. But then again, fetish is very personal, it doesn't matter what other people thinks, as long as you yourself like it. Just like being gay.

13 December 2014

Go Play Outside

Epigram : If mom finds out what her geeky son was playing outside, she would have probably give him an Xbox instead.

We fantasize about it, we see amateur porn with people doing it, yet most of us don't dare to try it. If you don't know what I'm writing about still, it's outdoor sex. We want it but we don't dare to do it, that's how the scene was around here, back then before the millennium, but with the Generation Z onward, I'm not so sure how true it remains.

To start off, we need to get the terminology right. Outdoor sex should refer to sex outside of the confinement of a building, so having fun on an apartment's balcony is not outdoor sex in the strictest sense, but nevertheless, it's a tiny step away from pleasure in nature. Also, having sex in a public toilet has been categorized under Toilet Sex, although Car Sex does borderline outdoor, especially if it's moving on the road.

For most people, the fear of being caught in the act is what stopping them from having outdoor sex, but at the same time, it is exactly the excitement of being caught that thrill people into having outdoor sex. It took a decade plus before I let myself out to play.

The maiden trip happened a few months back. I was invited by a buddy to join another two of his buddies on a short trip to a waterfall in Hulu Langat. He explicitly mentioned that we were all required to wear thong. So I wore the only pair of thong that I have in my drawer, which was a pair of GMW in bright neon green, a gift by a buddy who got it as a gift. It took us an hour plus to get there, and a good 15 minutes or so to travel up until we reach the deserted part of the waterfall. As we track up the waterfall, we sees tons of people picnicking by the side, what amazed us was not the crowd but the fact that families would go on a picnic during a working weekday.

Once we reached the top and made sure that nobody was around, we put down our belongings and stripped down naked, all the while looking over the horizon to make sure that the coast remains clear. We were worried of being caught, so we decided to always have someone taking guard.

One would think that the sight of three men in thong ready to have fun will surely bring on reaction, but a dip into the pool of running cold water will likely release the build up of muscle tension. At the end, some light oral sex was performed, while one was penetrated in the bushes by the waterfall. Personally, the combination of weariness, cold running water, tiny bugs flying around, sands sticking on the body, wild dogs in the woods barking, falling branches and lurking evil spirits from local folklore, all made the experience less enjoyable. Would I go for outdoor sex again? Definitely, but not at a waterfall, that's one location I'll be crossing off permanently in my book.

14 November 2014

Throwback - Chat Room

I was added to a line chat group the other day of a particular gay sexual interest where there was bunch of cute guys on it. I was kicked out of the chat group for being inactive later but that was to be expected. During that few days where I was in the chat room, I felt like I was back to the time where chat rooms were the in thing, where people chat and try to hook up. That was also where I got most of my sexual encounters through. I guess it was a simpler time then, with plenty of libido running high in my body. Now that age caught up and testosterone dwindle, I look back at my pass knowing that I have no regret in the aspect of sexual satisfaction.

16 October 2014

I'm sorry for your lost

My dear, my condolence to you for the passing of your dad. I know that it has been a rocky relationship between the two of you, but I also know of the strong sense of responsibility you have towards your family, you must feel very bad. But I know your will is strong, so though I silently feel your sadness, I know you will sail through this moment just as you conquered all the hurdles in life.

21 September 2014

You only learn

I vow to love you more from now on
to fall in love with you madly as the seconds goes by
only to find that I learn to love too late
that this love will be in vain.

You only learn how to live when you can no longer live;
You only learn how to love when you can no longer love;
Why is it that we only learn when it is too late to learn?

08 September 2014

Lost in a quandary

As much as I missed him and love him, as much as I want him back in my life, I know very well that it is not possible. I knew what I have done, and the pain I have caused him. Though he never blamed me, but I know very well how hard it hit him. Life will never be the same for us, no matter what direction in life we went. Such are my silly ways to make amends for the wrongs that I did, eventhough he is likely to care not what I am doing, I shall carry this burden with me, for it is my sin and mine alone to atone.

07 September 2014


There are many a times, during and after, hooking up with someone that I asked myself "What the heck am I doing? Why am I doing this? Am I really this desperate? Horny? What has gotten into me? I should stop ridiculing myself this way." Such is the dilemma I put myself into. Actually, I have had such schizophrenia moment time and over again, yet I still find myself in the same pile of shit over and over again, for I never seem to learn from it. I guess I'm guilty of letting my cock act before my brain.

06 September 2014

Pandora's Box

"Pursuant to clause set forth in the Open Relationship Agreement, both parties are entitled to Unrestricted Entry into the Meat Market. Any disputes arising from, but not limited to, jealousy, broken heart and infidelity shall be dismissed without trial."

A major complain from people involved in open relationship revolve around the fact that, both person dislike finding out that the other is having sex with someone else. It seems that in many open relationship, updates on their sexual adventure will not be fully disclosed, in order to avoid jealousy, that was not suppose to be a non-issue. But often than not, the other person will somehow find out who is fooling around with who, fusing jealousy and induce further friction into the relationship. Once Pandora's Box is opened, there is no way of going back.

17 August 2014

Scandalous Instagram Account

Roughly 3 months back, I did something really scandalous. I created an Instagram account with the tagline of "My Fucking Memoir in Still", documenting moments of my sex life, in which there are pictures of oral, anal and some down right kinky stuff. In less then 3 months, I posted around 40 very revealing pictures, and was able to gather nearly 4 thousand followers. The figure was a bit shocking to me, but after seeing other people which can gather 400 likes for one picture in less then an hour, I realize my feat was actually mediocre by standards. Too bad the officials caught up and the account was banned, which was not surprising at all. Thankfully it was banned, for I realize I really don't have much pics to post anymore. And no, am not planning to recreate another similar account, too much effort and too stressful. There were many times during the 3 months period, where I log on to Instagram in the middle of the night, or every hour after I posted a pic, just to find out how many likes I can gather or if anybody left me any comments. It can borderline psychotic and narcissistic for sure.

10 August 2014

In guts I trust

Sometimes when bad things happens, it happens in a roll, as if someone has just put a curse on you. Ridiculous yet alarming series of unfortunate events unfold one after another, nearly putting one off balance. There is nothing we can do to change it, we can only endure the damage of the aftermath. Painful as it is but we must treat it as a sign; a sign where the universe gives us a heads-up about the bumpy life journey ahead. If we were to pay attention to the warnings laying blatantly before us, we could avoid further damage. We often do not appreciate precautions steps that helps evades troubles, we only complain of our lack of hindsight, thus it is crucial that we learn to trust our guts, that when hookups turns nasty, celibacy is probably the best way to appease the divines.

25 July 2014

This love was...

“This love was a torment, and he resented bitterly the subjugation in which it held him; he was a prisoner and he longed for freedom. Sometimes he awoke in the morning and felt nothing; his soul leaped, for he thought he was free; he loved no longer; but in a little while, as he grew wide awake, the pain settled in his heart, and he knew that he was not cured yet.” ― W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage

24 July 2014




22 July 2014

What be thy name?

A friend that is still in the closet has the habit of separating his gay friends from his straight friends. He has at least two different phone numbers, one straight, one gay. This is all fine as long as he keeps track of which phone is which. He also has several names that he goes by, base on which name you know him by, you are classified either as straight, gay or fuck buddies. In addition, he also have separate Facebook accounts, one to get in touch with his straight friends, one to connect with his non-straight pals. Things seems to work well until he reaches the 6th degree of separation, where a straight friend who knows one of his gay friend came across his other fb account and asked him about it, causing him to hastily delete the account.

Personally I have never find the need for a different name. The way I see it is, if we are only meeting once for fun, my real name is as good as a fake one; but if we are meeting more than that, it would save me the trouble of a second self introduction. But hey, who am I to judge what rocks your boat? Just as I don't need others rocking mine. There is really no right or wrong in this matter.

16 July 2014

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, my dear, wherever you are. Though I think of you less now, yet you'll forever be in my thoughts. My one and only love. I miss you dearly.

06 July 2014

Words That Echos

Sometimes we can see cool profiles posted on social media. Sometimes people write the darndest thing, and you wonder what were they high on when typing it. There is always insight for us to reflect on, or ideas that echos our thoughts, but we just don't have the flair to pen it correctly. Although there are always the high probability of plagiarism, or mere piracy.

It is said that a picture paints a thousand words, but are we so shallow that we can be sum up in a thousand words? But of course, it is a meat market afterall on social media, dealing in satisfying the demand and supply of bodies, an articulate brain is just salad dressing. As one profile aptly says it, description is not necessary for the right one. Another profile writes, if the person is ugly, you call them a stalker BUT If the person is good looking, you call them a secret admirer.

Both rings true. I always say, the reason you don't fuck a guy, whether he is your brother, friend, colleague, relative or whatever, is because he is not good looking enough to stir your groin, there really is no moral values to support that claim.

28 June 2014

Ecclesiastes 1:9

Nowadays, gays hookup with strangers mostly through social media. Some get their fill of meat at sauna while some tries their luck in the gym shower. I am guilty of all three charges in declining order.

There was a time when I would laugh at the idea of me fooling around in the gym shower, but now I smirk at the thought. I confess that my sexual experiences varied but there are many things I have never tried. For one, I have never hook up with a random stranger on the street. I have heard stories of how two guys with brief eye contact walking up to each other and ends up in the toilet nearby with their cock out, sadly I have yet cross eye with any such guy. One likely reason is because I'm not friendly looking outwardly, although being tall and having a fast walking pace might be contributing factors too. But I don't doubt such stories, even though I am quite certain it wouldn't be happening on me anytime soon, I do try to walk slower nowadays and scan my surrounding more, hoping against hope to chance upon the fabled sex-a-first-sight. 

Except for those introduced during group activities, the almighty internet has always been my, and likely most men's main supplier. The internet has in a very short span of time nurtured in the Golden Era of Great Promiscuousness, where the first cardinal rule for achieving great promiscuousness sings, "o horny soul, behold! to see nothing is to hear no. be bold! there are plenty of other horny souls."

The second rule for achieving great promiscuousness says, size does matter! It is stated mathematically as F = ma, which states that the vector sum of the fuck force (F) on a bottom is equal to the mass of the cock (m) multiplied by the acceleration vector (a) of the cock. In layman's term, the intensity of a fuck is equal to how hard can your cock gets and how fast can you fuck. When velocity is controlled to remain constant, the mass of the cock will determine how much fuck force can be produced. Given that m = ρxHxWxL, where mass (m) equals to density (ρ) multiplied by height (H), width (W) length (L), in which density remain constant as every unit length of a cock contains the same amount cells, while height, width and length are the variables. Thus, the dimension of the cock and how well it measured up, becomes the one and only factor in determining how good the fuck was, ultimately reinforcing the notion that size does matter.

Ecclesiastes 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

18 June 2014

Coupling couples

Players play by their own rules, among the many rules that I know of is "avoid couple because there will definitely be drama involved, sooner or later". That is wisdom passed down by players who have had their share of couples drama. But that being said, players do not deny that there are many fun things and perks to explore with couples too. Personally, I have yet to encounter couple drama too divalisious to handle.

The drama that ensues from couple is usually caused by envy, mainly being one is not happy that the other get more attention. There are times when one of them realized he has found a better match in bed then his current bf during that particular moment, so when he immerse himself in this new found sexual outlet, the other is definitely not taking things lightly. Things are likely to get complicated when the one enjoying himself is the one that is initially against opening up the relationship to play together. The fact that he finally accepted the direction of the relationship, and starting to learn to enjoy himself, makes the other person uneasy and to a certain degree, jealous. Such is the drama that might arise if you choose to play with couples, so be warned!

But on the other hand, a couple who knows how to make each other happy in bed can certainly spice up the threesome when they tag team together to handle you. Let just say that, in those rare moments, you'll even consider having a three sided relationship, hoping that the sex can continue to be thus good every single time.

17 June 2014






08 June 2014

With a Vengeance

With the boom of social media, the dynamics of gay interactions evolved. Many a thing once deem taboo even by gays are now generally accepted, like... hmm... come to think about it... is there even any taboo for gays? Anyway, my point being, gay interactions in this digital age has intensified greatly. People are losing their virginity sooner, trying out all sorts of sexual practices and of course quadrupled the chance of getting to know people who share similar fascination towards the male body. It not only opens up our world, it also taught us vital skills in life, namely the art of rejection.

In this day and age, we have all our fair share of being rejected and rejecting others. We all have had doors slammed in the face at hello, be it slammer or slammed. Though rejection is never an enjoyable vibe, we all learned to accept it, because the rule of the universe dictates "as you choose, you are chosen upon too". It's a fair world; if you want to get that cute, handsome and built man, make sure you are equally cute, handsome and built. Simple logic.

That being said, rejection can be a driving force too. We have all heard stories of people losing tremendous weight or gaining ripping muscle to become an adonis. We naturally assume that these hunks get all the good meat in the circle, which I have yet to conclude, seeing that their path and mine don't cross. As to how and if rejection does keeps one motivated, I guess it very much depends on individual.

But there is one thing about rejection that we all share, that is the sense of achievement when we are accepted by those who once rejected us. Especially in the case of hooking up, it feels great when you finally get under the pants of those who once rejected you; and the session ends with a mental note for yourself "reject me, see where I get you now, ha!". The sense of accomplishment can be so overwhelming that some consider it their trophy moment and can't wait to share it with others. Lets face it, even though kiss-and-tell is a terrible habit, but for an average joe, we pride ourselves in nailing a handsome dude.

But people often lose sight when it comes to after-sex contemplation (yes, the universe preach that one should always reflect upon oneself after orgasm, it's a good stimulation for the mind), we never question why the person who rejected us accept us again? Was it because we was unimpressive back then that the guy has no recollection? If that is the case, do we question ourselves whether we have improved much since then? If the answer is negative, why do we not wonder why we were accepted again this time round? The answer might not be forthcoming from the person, but there are consensus about how such change of heart happens, and that is, the person was just too horny and you happens to come by when all his options go south. To put it bluntly, it was mere luck and it's likely to be a one-off kind of thing, so don't get carried away and hope to become his buddy or worse, fuel your ego with false pride. The rules of universe dictates, "universe hiccups too", so after the hiccup, the rules will fall back into place, and the world will keep on going as it is, with both person once again segregated accordingly.

05 June 2014

Role & Responsibility

Top, versatile, bottom or T/V/B, is the quintessential greetings among gay men; crucial in helping us determine whether we want to be acquainted with another gay man. On one hand, it's vain and degrading because we sum up one person base on his preferences in bed, but on the other hand, it's a crucial indicator for relationship. Most gay man try to avoid falling in love with someone they can't have intercourse with as a love-without-sex is a one way ticket to infidelity.

Obviously, each role comes with its own pros and cons. When we enter the gay world as a virgin that's not going to last too long in this day and era, we might weight the benefits before designating an alphabet to ourselves. Although we can in the course of our life change from one role to another caused by factors such as age, drugs, paradigm shift, enlightenment etc, it should be a good rule of thumb for these virgins to assume the top role until the sacred backend has been intruded, because how could anybody declare themselves bottom or versatile when they have never had a cock up their ass?

But then again, just because one know what they are doing in bed, doesn't mean it make any sense either. For example, someone who proclaimed himself top confessed that versatile has the most fun because they enjoy both ends. But when inquire why would he not turn versatile since he envy them so much, all he says is that, it hurts. Though I tried to assure him that all he need is the right man with the right tool to ease him in, he refused. One can bar entry because of pain, one can limit entry to authorized personnel, but his notion just don't quite make sense for me.

There were other guys with peculiar guidelines when it comes to sex. Like, they can't accept versatile eventhough they themselves like it both way. It cannot come to their knowledge that their top has been topped. Their top must be older, not younger. Their top must be shorter, not taller (OK, this I understand as height difference does equate different dymanics). Things we expect from other people can sometimes be demanding to the extreme.

11 May 2014







05 May 2014



26 April 2014

Spooky Stalker

The down side of putting your face on gay social network such as Grindr and Jack'd is that everybody knows that you are gay. Well, that's the whole point of course, but then there are those people you wish you could block out, so that they will remain ignorant of your sexuality, and it's very specific kind of person; those that you don't find attractive at all, or that you don't want to be talking gay stuff with. You know, that loud mouth annoying colleague or the scary gymmer that seems to hang around the shower everyday or the short and ugly neighbor that you want to avoid.

I have this new colleague who was short and slightly annoying. I don't really mind him since we are of different departments, but the other day he saw me on Jack'd and send me a message, wanting to befriend me, which I ignored. A day after, he send me another message, asking me if I was T or B. That spooks me big time! Now I try to avoid him as much as possible.

I feel that one needs to learn to restrain themselves in office environment. Just because we are both gay, it doesn't mean we should start hanging out everyday. I admit that it has a lot to do with how he looks, but still, when you are on gay social network, it is understood that we all have the choice to choose, whether we want to be friend or hookup or whatever. But now in this situation, I was cornered. I can't escape working in the same company with him, though I might ignore or avoid any contact with him, there is no telling when we might actually need to sit down face to face and talk! I have this creepy thought of bumping him in the toilet and he tries to grapple me or flashes his tiny cock before me. I never thought I would ever need to entertain the idea of office sexual harassment, but now I got the chance to ponder on it. Nightmare! Haha.Sigh, the price to pay to be open about your sexuality in the gay social network.

20 April 2014



19 April 2014

A Matter of Age

Gay men lie about their age because they want to get laid. We will surrender ourselves in all our glory before a good looking and great bodied man, and firmly believe in the cardinal rule that our random sexual encounters will slowly come to an end once we hit 35 and gradually diminishes to nonexistent pass 40; unless we manage to find the fountain of youth or injected a DNA altering concoction that instantaneously beef up our body to those of a porn star or get filthy rich or find true love, which if you haven't started on it before 35, it's likely that you have to consider sex toys and call boys. Luckily, online shopping and getting call boys are so easy nowadays, it even eliminates the embarrassment of asking the dealer what sizes are available. 

Although some men does age gracefully or manage to maintain a killing figure, most men just succumb to the power of time. It's scientifically proven that as age goes up, men's hormone level goes down, but strangely gay men seem to be able to maintain higher hormone than the straights, our sexual urges seems to last much longer and with higher intensity. 

The fact that the meat market is very sensitive to a wide range of numbers, such as weight, height, length, BMI, age etc, forces gay men raging with sexual urges to under state some of the figures to make themselves much more marketable, or at least hope that once in the room, there is no where for the other guy to go but to release the tension sexually. 

13 April 2014

Massage boys frenzy

Ever try turning on Grindr or Jack'd in Bukit Bintang area? If you did, you'll realize that your screen is swarm by pictures of massage boys from our neighboring countries. I guess market here must be quite good, seeing that we do have constant supplies of boys offering their bodies to local men and foreign visitors alike.

It doesn't take a genius to know that their pictures has gone through photoshop. Flawless skin and perfect body everyone of them? I don't think that there are that many hunky men running around in our city.

I have even come across a site that explicitly discuss the performance and services provided by massage boys in the country. The information provided allows people to peek into the world of paid sex. Honestly speaking, if I'm rich and I can afford it, I wouldn't mind giving it a try or two, or maybe three... but at a price tag of RM200, I think I rather spend it on some quality food or splurge on luxury items I don't need.

05 April 2014

A thing for underwear

A man in his underwear. We all like to see one especially if he is hunky, cute, handsome and just down right make our groin stirs. Maybe because of the influence of pop culture, we are fed with the image of what a man in underwear should be like.We all yearn to be that man, though some of us succeed, most of us just drool on. But that doesn't stop us from posing in our underwear, because it is a way to sexual escapade.

We are all drawn to the image of hard cock showing under the underwear, or seductive indication that jr is hung like a horse. But the image of a man in plain white CK underwear is over exaggerated because we need a good body to go along with that pair of underwear. If your body is build, whether it's bulky, lean or defined, you'll look great in any underwear. But if you are just a plain joe barely able to suck in the tummy for a half naked shot, different pair of underwear will do you good.

Western porn are often showing men in boxers, briefs or jocks, while Japanese porn offer men in skimpy briefs, jocks, thongs and other more interesting design. It means more to people who has a fetish towards underwear, for those who don't, it's just a piece of cloth to take off in order to access what's underneath.

Personally, I'm more interested with porn that showcase men in underwear doing their things. Wearing underwear for a long foreplay, putting it back on during intermission, jerking while wearing underwear, those things turn me on. The rubbing of semi-erect cock against a tight underwear is arousing, even wilder still when someone's face is on it, rubbing, licking, kissing and playing with the waking giant. It's standard foreplay I guess, but likely to move into the realm of kink when it's prolonged. Guilty as charge, I have a fetish for underwear.

02 April 2014


Exclusiveness, we all want that. Who wants to share or to be seen having the same thing with another person? But many a daily things cannot be exclusive, unless we pay a premium for it. But there are also things we expect to be exclusively for us, such as in a relationship, we expect our partners to be loyal to us. Yet greed runs through our vein, we demand our partner to be loyal, but see not the importance of practising the same virtue. Men are selfish. We are men. We are selfish. Being truth doesn't make it right. What's right? What's true?

30 March 2014






07 March 2014

Getting high in HD

An accurate depiction of a subculture rampant in our circle, the only problem is... not all men are that sexy. Or maybe you have to be in the league in order to be in the circle of such hunks.

02 March 2014

Married but Available

They got married in UK a few years back when he was studying there, but have been settling down here ever since. But being married doesn't mean they want to be exclusive to each other, instead they feel the need to be in a open relationship. They believe that sex and love is two different matters; have sex with all the men you want as long as we love each other.

Marriage certificate is just a piece of paper used to settle legal matters when one dies. It has no restrictive power to define how any relationship works. Though straight might feel the pressure to keep up with the norms of the society, the dynamics are just different for gay couple. It is silly to want the same things as straight couples when we are queer to begin with. Maybe it's just a matter of semantics.

22 February 2014

Going strong

They have been in a relationship for nearly 7 years now, but for the pass couple of years they have been ocean apart.Yet their relationship is going strong albeit that it has all the faults of a gay relationship went stale. Or as they call it, "we are more of family than lovers". During these period when they each live on a different continent, one gave his approval for infidelity while the other took it gladly. It was silently agree upon that their sexual urges should be satisfied with another during the absence of the other.

Though one might wonder how long can this relationship go on, how long until one finds a different connection, but at least in one of them, he believe that they will go on regardless of the distance and time spent apart, for they are pass the age of foolish youth that party without end, they both know what the other meant in his life.

16 February 2014

I want you, but I don't need you

I fuck you, and I'd like you to like me to fuck you
But I don't fucking need you, don't need you to need me to fuck you
If you need me to need you to fuck, that fucks everything up

31 January 2014

Say Something

Say something... I'm giving up on you...

20 January 2014