21 September 2014

You only learn

I vow to love you more from now on
to fall in love with you madly as the seconds goes by
only to find that I learn to love too late
that this love will be in vain.

You only learn how to live when you can no longer live;
You only learn how to love when you can no longer love;
Why is it that we only learn when it is too late to learn?

08 September 2014

Lost in a quandary

As much as I missed him and love him, as much as I want him back in my life, I know very well that it is not possible. I knew what I have done, and the pain I have caused him. Though he never blamed me, but I know very well how hard it hit him. Life will never be the same for us, no matter what direction in life we went. Such are my silly ways to make amends for the wrongs that I did, eventhough he is likely to care not what I am doing, I shall carry this burden with me, for it is my sin and mine alone to atone.

07 September 2014


There are many a times, during and after, hooking up with someone that I asked myself "What the heck am I doing? Why am I doing this? Am I really this desperate? Horny? What has gotten into me? I should stop ridiculing myself this way." Such is the dilemma I put myself into. Actually, I have had such schizophrenia moment time and over again, yet I still find myself in the same pile of shit over and over again, for I never seem to learn from it. I guess I'm guilty of letting my cock act before my brain.

06 September 2014

Pandora's Box

"Pursuant to clause set forth in the Open Relationship Agreement, both parties are entitled to Unrestricted Entry into the Meat Market. Any disputes arising from, but not limited to, jealousy, broken heart and infidelity shall be dismissed without trial."

A major complain from people involved in open relationship revolve around the fact that, both person dislike finding out that the other is having sex with someone else. It seems that in many open relationship, updates on their sexual adventure will not be fully disclosed, in order to avoid jealousy, that was not suppose to be a non-issue. But often than not, the other person will somehow find out who is fooling around with who, fusing jealousy and induce further friction into the relationship. Once Pandora's Box is opened, there is no way of going back.