15 October 2007

I hate and I love

"Maybe you are just being picky."
"No, I’m not. Good guys like you are all taken."
"Me, good? Most might disagree."
"I don’t know, somehow I just like you, from our conversation and all."
"Thank you for the compliment. But you know you can’t like me."
"Yea, I know."

How do you define a good boyfriend? Top of the list would probably be loyalty. Not many people can accept infidelity yet we find that many gay men are promiscuous. In time, you’ll realize that all men has flaws. Just like the perfect man that all woman would want to marry turn out to be gay, the perfect men that all gay men wants to be attached to turn out to be attached while this perfect yet unavailable man turns out to be quite available.

There are so many qualities involved in defining a good boyfriend and different people have different requirements. Just being loyal are not enough, one require more then loyalty. Some like great looks, some crave for great body, some hunger for attention, some are inspired by intelligence, some are charmed by humor. The list go on and on. But who is perfect? If you only settle for the perfect men that meets all your requirement, you are deem to fail in all relationship. Bear in mind that while you chose, so are you chosen upon. The smart one learns to accept the flaws of their boyfriend.

But how do one learn to accept that their boyfriend is unfaithful? Well, unless you yourself practice multiple sex partners, you will never be able to accept that. It is just something that is beyond explanation because it will not make sense to you at all. You will not be able to understand all the mixed feeling involved, and they who practice it themselves probably can’t explain it too. It’s like answering the question, why are you gay? Why do you like men and not women? It’s just how things is. God? Genes? Environment? Nobody knows.

Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?
nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

06 October 2007

Death by stupidity deserve no pity

I know that people can die from heart complication, but if the heart here is referred to feeling wise, I couldn't for all the brain cells of mine working together, understand how? I mean, come on, so a man dump you, big deal. A lot of people get dumped, you wouldn't be the first nor would you be the last. Dying wouldn't get you back together even if he is touched by your action. But if it's me, I'll be freak out, big time! Even if you live through the ordeal, I wouldn't want to be near you. You think the person that one have supposedly died for are not in a trauma too? It's like realizing that you have a time bomb near you all this while, but was glad that it does not detonate around you. It could develop into a bloody massacre for all we know.

Some people might say, how could you say something like that? But really, if it's your bf, you'll freak out too. No, if it's me I'll never do that to my bf. Please, all this while it has only been one side of the story, who knows what really happened. But, even if it happened as it was told, to die for or even to hurt yourself? That's stupid. Death by stupidity deserve no pity.

You know, I have skimp through the posts all this while, and somehow it didn't surprise me a bit that it turns out this way. Call me psycho if you will, but I remember way back there was a similar incident posted here also. Someone died because someone was dumped or something and some friends posted for the person. The first thing that go through my mind after reading both posts was, wow, so people nowadays share their accounts? Or do people leave down their ID and password to their friends and ask their friends to post to the net, that should any misfortune befall upon them, they should inform all the sympathetic strangers of his latest update? It takes a very disturbed person to think that way or a very drama person to arrange such an elaborate stage performance.

I apologize for being such a bloody heartless person if actual casualties were involved. But I think I meant everything that I just said. Hopefully none of the friends are reading this, I wouldn't want to be involve in a cat fight with me being cold blooded while him lying there blood cold.