29 March 2009

Comfort of Lies

“If one day your friend’s bf ask you for sex, would you?”
“No, just you and him, behind your friend’s back.”
“I could but I wouldn’t.”
“Somehow doesn’t sound reassuring.”
“I promise not to screw your bf if he asked, assuming you getting one anytime soon.”
“Go die.”
“Right after I screwed your bf?”

I’ve had my share of fun with other people’s bf, knowing very well that they are attached but I in no way know who their bf were. Probably doesn't justify it, but hey, if it's not me there, it's probably someone else, why not me. Of course, not many would willingly admit that they are attached when they are fooling around because we all know the taboo of infidelity especially in this circle, even though it is as rampant as can be. Some people has the mentality block that fooling around with other people's bf is wrong, probably due to the fact that they lost theirs through similar incident, but if the person is under the pretense of singlehood, then it make everything ok, or at least they feel better lied to. Curious how some people take comfort in lies.

21 March 2009

Broken and Bended Heart

"My boyfriend is happily attached, but I'm not."
"But you are the unfaithful one, how could he be happily attached?"
"Ignorance is bliss."
"Ah... indeed. So, are you telling me that you are in pain?"
"To a certain extent, yes."
"Then I'm sure you know what's the right thing to do."
"Come clean or breakup?"
"Somehow I have a feeling that coming clean would lead to breakup."
"I guess you're right. I'll probably keep things as it is."
"You are such a sucker for pain, are you sure you are pure top?"
"Let me give you a fuck and you'll know."
"Haha. A versatile can be a good top too you know."
"Lighten up, maybe he already knows about it."
"Maybe. It's a small world anyway, he is bound to find out sooner or later."
"Well, the best course of action would be to confess."
"I am, father."
"Father says you are going to hell."
"Splendid, it would be great to see you there, then I can fuck you eternally in hell."
"What's with you and fucking me? Fetish?"
"Cause I love you so."
"How sweet, see you in hell then."
"You make a move first, I still have some unfinished business here to attend to."

Nothing can to nothing fall, nor any place be empty quite; therefore I thinke my breast hath all, those pieces still, though they be not unite. ~ John Donne

17 March 2009

Random Encounters

It seems that I've been missing out on a particular type of adventure all this while. Supposedly one can be shopping in a mall, make eye contact with someone, strike up a conversation and have sex, all in the same day. I thought it's only possible in stories, but I guess every story has its root in truth. And it seems that it's commonly practiced too. Gosh, have I been holding up in a narrow shaft of well all this while?

It's probably because I don't make enough eye contact or that I don't smile enough. People have commented that I don't smile enough and to that I answered, "Why should I smile for no reason? Isn't that borderline lunatic?" And to that the comment escalated from I don't smile enough to I don't look friendly to I look arrogant. To that, the stare, which is probably where the arrogance of mine kicks in. Rooted in truth indeed.

05 March 2009

Thy Body, Thy Temple

In gay social network website, there are a column which ask us to choose our body types. Slim, chub, average, toned, muscle. Being someone who is self-aware and very much insignificant, I opt for being mediocre in the sea of beautiful male bodies. No doubt I envy those who has a sculpt body but lazy as lazy goes, I have only myself to blame. I just can't motivate myself enough to go the distance needed.

Skimping through profile after profile, picture after picture of these well defined body, one can't stop fantasying what it would be to get into their pants. It proved to be even more exhilarating when one of this men prompted you for hookup. Alas, those are blue moons moments left till kingdom come. More likely are chance encounter in the gym where the said body undresses in the locker or was parading in his glory in a party that one might be invited to.

And then horror struck, and the reality of time and photoshop suddenly daunts you. Complexion can be edited, time leaves mark on the body and many of us don't upload our latest pictures to our profile. Defined is loosely defined. We are merely worshiping something of the bygones.

02 March 2009


"If you are not interested in him, then you should tell him to the face."
"I told him I'm attached already."
"But you are still going out with him on dates."
"You are playing with people's feeling here."
"No I'm not."
"Mark my words, you'll be in deep shit soon enough."
"Touch wood."

Most would consider it wrong should someone has more than one boyfriend especially if both the boyfriends were ignorant of each other, thinking that they are the one and only. It's call an open relationship if the boyfriend knows about it. But what if he were to declare his unavailability yet went out to have flings behind the boyfriends back? Everybody except the boyfriend knew. They would probably be called slut or cheater, but that's from the boyfriend's point of view. How should people attracted to this kind of people handle themselves?

Is it by their own fault to fall willingly knowing very well the consequences? Many claims that they will never be involve with an attached guy regardless of how interested they are towards the person. But how many of them can really be this clear headed when they find themselves caught in the whirlpool?

Many says that if they cannot have it all, they would not want any at all. And that's exactly where most of them is - nothing at all. If you have proclaim such sanctity then you should have the will to uphold the solitary ritual required of you. Don't waged a vendetta against those who do.