22 July 2008

Living in Oxymoronia

Among the many things that people said about me was that I don't look gay, which at first glance sounds like a good thing, but it's actually not. Being a gay man that looks straight means that most gay men wouldn't have notice you unless you are exceptionally good looking or has a body to die for, which I have neither. With little to no glimpse and glances, that roughly translates to zero encounters. No stalkers, no admirers, no nothing. Whether I want the attention or not is besides the point, the point is that you wouldn't have thought that I am gay if I were to be hanging around you. You see the irony there? There I am but there I am not.

Not that there were no attention, just not the right kind of attention. Succumbing to the natural law that the opposite attracts, a straight gay man tends to attracts the attention of girls. Rejecting a girl without telling her about your own sexuality can be a daunting task. As a matter of fact, telling her about your sexuality might not be the best course of action. Although it was said that girls are more likely to accept gays, it doesn't really cover the guys that they have a crush on. You try to be not that good a person but somehow people still think that you deserve a good girl. There I may not be yet somehow I'm there.

13 July 2008





04 July 2008


"Are there gay bars there?"
"There were a few. You didn't visit any?"
"No. Didn't know where they were."
"I see."
"I heard that anal sex is punishable by death there. Is it true?"
"Haha... did you had anal sex while you are here?"
"No. I don't want to die."
"Haha... well, for your information, anal sex is not punishable by death here. Where did you hear this from?"
"From some American friends."
"And you believe them?"
"I can't judge since I don't live there."

This comes from a random chatter from China. I would have continue sarcastically if I have not grown to be as, ahem, mature in thinking (aka lazy) as I am now. But what amazed me was the fact that people can be so ignorant and willing to believe what Americans said, reminds me of our not so distant pass, that people believe that Malaysians live on trees.