A Matter of Trust

"How could you betray me? I invited you! And what did you do afterwards? Both of you went behind my back to play without me. Why?"
"You were not free that day and we don't want you to feel jealous or left out, so we decided to keep mum."
"Please, regardless of whether I'm free or not, you guys would still do it without telling me."
"No, of course not. We will definitely tell you if you are free."
"That's not the point. The point is, he and me are together. Both of you are not suppose to plan this sort of things!"

Trust has always been a critical issue in any gay relationship. Infidelity is always around the corner. But how could it not be so when most gay relationship blossom from the seed of lust. When one meets the other through hookup, regardless if it's one to one or group, we should know very well that both has developed a pallette for assorted men. And yet we are surprised that they will not remain monogamous.

Granted, they are those who succeed in braving through the sea of raging sexual hormone, but those are rare. Even among these rare few, are those who can keep a secret very well.

As Mark Twain puts it, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Thus, if you don't mind inviting your friend to have sex with your boyfriend, then it should not matter if your friend had sex with your boyfriend without you, because likely you will have sex with your friend without your  boyfriend. Hypocrisy? Double standard? No, it's justification to right our actions and to rebuke  those who wronged us.

Dishooked

I fully understand the frustration of a long chat that leads to nowhere when all you wanted was someone to sex with. Such frustration build up in some people in such level that they do not tolerate any length of conversation, and will get mad at people who asked too much. To them, it's like, fuck or not? If not, fuck off.

In an effort to understand the angst of these people, I have reason to believe that they have been rejected many a times, which inevitably can be concluded that they are not desirable by the unofficial consensus of the gay circle. As prematurely as it seems, this is base on the belief that one needs to be rejected way many times to try to cover up their undesirableness with a sense of urgency. Unfortunately for me, on my path towards achieving the Great Promiscuousnes, I have stumbled upon some of such person. It took me several encounters to finally learn that pushy hook up is bad hook up.

Darkness in Paradise

We are all conscious of our looks, especially in this superficial circle. The unfortunate looking tries to hide it, the common looking tries their luck while the good looking gets their pick, that's what I always presume. But one good looking chinese guy shifted my view slightly, and I chance upon a sneak peak into the darkness in paradise. Although being good looking and well endowed, when it comes to random hookup, he needs to assure people that he is not doing it for money, even though many would pay for his body. It comes as a surprise to me that normal good looking man are troubled for being mistaken of selling their body. Mayhap you know him, mayhap you have bedded him, mayhap it's you I'm writing bout. Mayhap not.

The Law of Three(some)more

I was confronted, again.

Somehow these confrontation thingy is happening once too often, as if I'm an easy pick. But I guess being older means I'm wiser and know how to deal with confrontation without getting pissed. Either that or I'm becoming senile, thus easy target. Grrr...

Again, I was confronted awhile back. Someone who invited me to join him and his buddy for threesome confronted me, demanding answers to some questions. One, am I into his friend more then I am into him? Two, am I not click with him? OK, so it's basically the same question. Regardless, these are tricky questions especially when you want to preserve a good relationship with the other person, coz you never know when the next invitation to a raunchy sexcapade might come from.

I mean, do you honestly expect a truthful answer? Instead of asking me such awkward questions, why not ask yourself, who is the better looking, the more desirable one between you and him. Wouldn't the answer be clear without me being blunt?

In my defence, I have totally forgotten how the friend looks. I would not be able to recognise him even if he is standing before me. But I do admit that the friend is definitely much more desirable then the host. But, that doesn't mean I do not know how to play the game properly. There was a second then, that I felt offended because I was accused of not knowing the proper things to do when invited to someone's home to fuck with two guys. It was a shocking revelation for I think I might have achieve the Great Promiscuousnes.

Thus the Law of Three(some) goes, if you have a good looking guy to sex with, keep him to yourself unless you are equally good looking, and the third guy you invited over has such difficulty in choosing which to please that he ends up a slave for both. 

The Law of Three(some)

To achieve Great Promiscuousnes, one must master the many disciplines that governs the integrity of this state. Among which is the Law of Three(some), widely accepted as the major sign of promiscuousnes. For once you have two men at once, sex would never be the same.

Threesome, to engage in sexual activity with two individuals simultaneously. A wild fantasy for the uninitiated, but for many gay, it is likely something they have had a go at. I had mine at the age of 18, right after my first encounter with a man that was considerably disappointing. The funny thing was, I don't quite recall the threesome, instead whatever memory I have of the session was the twosome in the shower room. Well, that's another entry at a different time.

So unless one is willing to give threesome another try, one would probably keep to one man per copulation. Rightly so as even the most seasoned of players don't get enjoyable threesome that often. We can have better satisfaction with just one man. It was probably hope that with quantity, quality should increase by proportion too.

The consensus on having a good threesome is getting three guys that can click with the other two, which enjoys similar sexual activities. For some reason, it's hard to come by. Thus, the search for the elusive three ways orgasm continues. But I think we have side track on this search. Is it really that hard to get three men that is in to each other to sex together? I think not. Instead I would think that it's crucial to gather three men that can click 'at the exact same moment for the same duration' for a successful threesome. The keyword here is timing. If the three men can't be high and horny at the same time, for the same duration the threesome is likely to turn into a twosome where one wanders off to rest while the other two continues. Still, it is not all for naught, at least 5-10 minutes of threeways action was squeezed out of it. An attempt worthy of the title 'not bad'.

of New Faces & Old Fucks

The gay scene in KL is small, smaller still for gay men with huge appetite for sex. Throw in superficial discrimination, fetishes of all sorts and some sex drugs, the circle become even smaller still. I have since established the degree of separation between one fuck to another, after meticulously comparing data with a fellow buddy... I mean fellow researcher. The findings were staggering.

If you live in KL just as I, but our path never cross, it's likely that we will remain strangers until the end, yet we will still have common friends. We may even copulated the same man, or men, but statistically, you and I will remain ignorant of each other's presence or role in the other's life, forever. So concluded the study of my sundry sex life.

After more than a decade and a half, I honestly do not remember how many men I've played with. But then again, after such long years, many details would have been forgotten unless visual cue was given, preferably the same picture that I have seen before, because wrinkles and body fat can change a person's appearance dramatically. You can't really blame me for not recognising you after seeing your latest profile picture, since our last shag was several years ago and in between this time we have not communicate nor visibly active on social media. Except for a few that I have manage to keep in contact with throughout the years, I have basically lost contact with all the men I sexed with. Surprisingly unsurprising, it's very common and most people go through the same tribulation in achieving the Great Promiscuous. Those that remembers, well, you obviously haven't had enough variants in your sex life. Good for you for being loyal, but in case your lack of variance in sex life is because of some physical attribution imposed by superficial discrimination, well, you can always pay for it. Really, why pay for gym or slimming packages that don't work, when all you need is a fuck that is just one message away. It doesn't matter whether I condoned human trafficking or not, the trade is active nonetheless.

Oh wait, I have drifted away from the initial motive of this post. Remember the Kelvin & Terry post (..of Jealous & Possesive Boyfriend) where I was accused of fucking someone I don't even know, it turns out, I do know that person and have fucked him years ago. All matters considered, I am still wrongly accused, but knowing that I have actually fucked the guy, makes me feel so much more at ease. Twisted. I know.

Scrapheap

It often happens this way, a few hours into the session, both person started to play with their phone and it was somehow mutually agreed without discussion, that a third guy is needed to spice things up. As there will always be some horny guy still awake in the wee hour of Saturday wanting to get lucky, it would usually be quickly arranged to kick start the party again. That is where this hook up story begins.

Woken by the sound of the messages at 3am, I know that it was obviously an invite to join a session from some of my acquaintances. True enough, it was from someone familiar. Though feeling sleepy, my sexual urges overcome my common sense and I find myself driving nearly an hour to the party location. My friend told me that he will be leaving early in the morning, so I naturally tries to let him have his way with the host. But somehow, the flame of lust fails to sustain the two men in heat, and a fourth guy was invited over. Since things didn't happen between the host and the friend, naturally I was designated to the host while the friend mingle with the fourth guy.

But at the time when the friend needs to leave, I was told that nothing happens between them during that whole time. Though no reason were disclose, I suspect it has to do with compatibility issues. In the morning, I have a feeling that the friend actually wanted to stay over, but the host nonchalantly reminded the friend that he needs to leave to attend to his errands. Right that moment, I caught a glimpse of dissatisfaction in the friends face at the corner of my eyes. He quietly pack and left. The fourth guy left soon after, though we did manage to catch some action. After that, it was just me and the host until 6pm. I clocked 14 hours for this session, with some serious humping involved.

I'm not sure if the friend is angry at me or not because he didn't message me afterwards. Still, I don't think that I should be blamed, even though I probably played a huge part in the whole session falling apart, but the way to The Great Promiscuousnes are paved with uneven rocks of sharp edges and slippery surface, all who seek it must embrace bruises and cut.

Go Play Outside

Epigram : If mom finds out what her geeky son was playing outside, she would have probably give him an Xbox instead.

We fantasize about it, we see amateur porn with people doing it, yet most of us don't dare to try it. If you don't know what I'm writing about still, it's outdoor sex. We want it but we don't dare to do it, that's how the scene was around here, back then before the millennium, but with the Generation Z onward, I'm not so sure how true it remains.

To start off, we need to get the terminology right. Outdoor sex should refer to sex outside of the confinement of a building, so having fun on an apartment's balcony is not outdoor sex in the strictest sense, but nevertheless, it's a tiny step away from pleasure in nature. Also, having sex in a public toilet has been categorized under Toilet Sex, although Car Sex does borderline outdoor, especially if it's moving on the road.

For most people, the fear of being caught in the act is what stopping them from having outdoor sex, but at the same time, it is exactly the excitement of being caught that thrill people into having outdoor sex. It took a decade plus before I let myself out to play.

The maiden trip happened a few months back. I was invited by a buddy to join another two of his buddies on a short trip to a waterfall in Hulu Langat. He explicitly mentioned that we were all required to wear thong. So I wore the only pair of thong that I have in my drawer, which was a pair of GMW in bright neon green, a gift by a buddy who got it as a gift. It took us an hour plus to get there, and a good 15 minutes or so to travel up until we reach the deserted part of the waterfall. As we track up the waterfall, we sees tons of people picnicking by the side, what amazed us was not the crowd but the fact that families would go on a picnic during a working weekday.

Once we reached the top and made sure that nobody was around, we put down our belongings and stripped down naked, all the while looking over the horizon to make sure that the coast remains clear. We were worried of being caught, so we decided to always have someone taking guard.

One would think that the sight of three men in thong ready to have fun will surely bring on reaction, but a dip into the pool of running cold water will likely release the build up of muscle tension. At the end, some light oral sex was performed, while one was penetrated in the bushes by the waterfall. Personally, the combination of weariness, cold running water, tiny bugs flying around, sands sticking on the body, wild dogs in the woods barking, falling branches and lurking evil spirits from local folklore, all made the experience less enjoyable. Would I go for outdoor sex again? Definitely, but not at a waterfall, that's one location I'll be crossing off permanently in my book.

Clarity

There are many a times, during and after, hooking up with someone that I asked myself "What the heck am I doing? Why am I doing this? Am I really this desperate? Horny? What has gotten into me? I should stop ridiculing myself this way." Such is the dilemma I put myself into. Actually, I have had such schizophrenia moment time and over again, yet I still find myself in the same pile of shit over and over again, for I never seem to learn from it. I guess I'm guilty of letting my cock act before my brain.

Pandora's Box

"Pursuant to clause set forth in the Open Relationship Agreement, both parties are entitled to Unrestricted Entry into the Meat Market. Any disputes arising from, but not limited to, jealousy, broken heart and infidelity shall be dismissed without trial."

A major complain from people involved in open relationship revolve around the fact that, both person dislike finding out that the other is having sex with someone else. It seems that in many open relationship, updates on their sexual adventure will not be fully disclosed, in order to avoid jealousy, that was not suppose to be a non-issue. But often than not, the other person will somehow find out who is fooling around with who, fusing jealousy and induce further friction into the relationship. Once Pandora's Box is opened, there is no way of going back.

Ecclesiastes 1:9

Nowadays, gays hookup with strangers mostly through social media. Some get their fill of meat at sauna while some tries their luck in the gym shower. I am guilty of all three charges in declining order.

There was a time when I would laugh at the idea of me fooling around in the gym shower, but now I smirk at the thought. I confess that my sexual experiences varied but there are many things I have never tried. For one, I have never hook up with a random stranger on the street. I have heard stories of how two guys with brief eye contact walking up to each other and ends up in the toilet nearby with their cock out, sadly I have yet cross eye with any such guy. One likely reason is because I'm not friendly looking outwardly, although being tall and having a fast walking pace might be contributing factors too. But I don't doubt such stories, even though I am quite certain it wouldn't be happening on me anytime soon, I do try to walk slower nowadays and scan my surrounding more, hoping against hope to chance upon the fabled sex-a-first-sight. 

Except for those introduced during group activities, the almighty internet has always been my, and likely most men's main supplier. The internet has in a very short span of time nurtured in the Golden Era of Great Promiscuousness, where the first cardinal rule for achieving great promiscuousness sings, "o horny soul, behold! to see nothing is to hear no. be bold! there are plenty of other horny souls."

The second rule for achieving great promiscuousness says, size does matter! It is stated mathematically as F = ma, which states that the vector sum of the fuck force (F) on a bottom is equal to the mass of the cock (m) multiplied by the acceleration vector (a) of the cock. In layman's term, the intensity of a fuck is equal to how hard can your cock gets and how fast can you fuck. When velocity is controlled to remain constant, the mass of the cock will determine how much fuck force can be produced. Given that m = ρxHxWxL, where mass (m) equals to density (ρ) multiplied by height (H), width (W) length (L), in which density remain constant as every unit length of a cock contains the same amount cells, while height, width and length are the variables. Thus, the dimension of the cock and how well it measured up, becomes the one and only factor in determining how good the fuck was, ultimately reinforcing the notion that size does matter.

Ecclesiastes 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

In Darkness We Wait

In darkness we wait. That is what half naked men do in sauna. As much as it is a place for some men to release their unruly sexual urges, what most of them does is to walk and stand around, even those good looking ones. Though I once wonder why does good looking men need to go to sauna, I have yet to reach a conclusive answer. But I believe it has to do with the fact that some of us need more sex than what we currently have, ranging from a zero for the less fortunate one, to a one for the attached one, and of course not forgetting the wild one which has no limit. Whatever the reason, they might not always get all that they want due standards issues. Standards being what they expect in other men, and what other men expect good looking men to want. The fact is, they all want the same thing, yet they are too shy to approach, cause really if there is no good men around, would you loiter there a few hours instead?

Gym Sauna

Of all the steamy stories I heard about the gym locker, I for one has never encounter any for the pass few years, until recently that is. My oh my, let me add that it is not once but twice. Talk about things coming in pair.

I come to realize that the reason why I never encounter this, is all due to timing. More specifically going to the gym at non peak hours. Back to the steamy story, what happened was there there was only two person in the sauna, and the other person walk around and flip his towel before me, showing the cock. In the first encounter it was erect, in the second it was not. Regardless, it takes me to reach out to grab the tool to initiate the whole action sequence, but i suspect that if I were to flash mine, it would probably resulted the same too.

Well, was it fun? I wouldn't deny the thrill of it. But would I go to gym just for that? Probably not, but if I were to go to the gym those weird hours, I guess I wouldn't mind being a bit naughty.

Journey to the Lostworld

It was 3 in the morning on a weekday, I was driving home and passed by the famous Lostworld. Eventhough I live quite near to it, the number of times I've been there can probably be counted by two hands. The last time I've been there, well, I don't really remember actually when I was there last. So feeling a bit adventurous, I made a detour into the carpark and to my surprise, there were actually people there still.

So I park my car and walked down. Didn't really travel far, was just walking at the car park and this guy stopped me at my track. He asked me to join him in his Lexus. He was actually quite insistent as he grab my hand. What's worse is that against my better judgement, I went into his car. Well, to my defense, I thought that since I have never experience this before, I might as well give it a try. Who knows, it might turn out great.

Well, nothing too erotic happened. He wanted to kiss me but I decline, mainly cause he contradict himself during our short conversation. He says he don't come here often, yet his action shows otherwise.Sometimes I wonder why people lie like this. Was it shame? Or do they think that by pretending to be innocent, they can get hookup easier. But really, nobody is new to all this nowadays, not even a 12 years old.

Afterwards we left his car and was walking in the carpark again. He was suggesting to hookup with another person for threesome, which again, contradicts his earlier statement of being new to all this. Anyway, as I decline him again, he tried to ask me to get into his car again, but seeing that I'm in open space, it's easier for me to escape. Who knows he might drive me somewhere and force me to rape him...

Around 4ish, I drove home tired. This adventure has been troubling to a certain extent. But at least I know that I wouldn't be feeling the same type of adventurous again anytime soon.

Party and Play

Seems that it is a common practice among gays nowadays to party and play. Like everything else that you are not suppose to do, people do it not only for the fun of it but because of the thrill of doing something that you are not suppose to do. It is like the apple that was not meant to be eaten, it taste all the more delicious. Regardless of their background, education level and social status, people just do it.

Somehow gay tends to do it more often. A friend commented, "I'm gay and the society already does not accept me, so why not one more thing that it doesn't?" But is that a valid reason? Blaming of being gay, that's ridiculous. Should a person simply be summed up base on their sexual orientation? That's not fair. There are alot more to me then just being gay. We all know that, but if you yourself does not value yourself, who else would?

I do not deny that it was an enjoyable experience. But like everything else in the world, it is a pro and con equilibrium. You win some and you lose some. Simply because it is dangerous doesn't mean one cannot do it. A lot of things is dangerous. Smoking is dangerous. Drinking is dangerous. Speeding is dangerous. Even walking out to the street is dangerous. Even staying in door is dangerous too. So many things can happen that is dangerous. If it is meant to happen, no amount of prevention can stop it. Yet, consciously submitting yourself to possible complication are something that should be weighted out. One should always know the risk. I don't believe in right and wrong. I believe in deciding and accepting the outcome. If you have the nerve to do it, then you better have the guts to accept it. But that's on personal level, which I think is the important level. But then there are always those pesky people that disagrees with whatever we did. Just ignores them, the easiet thing to do.