I'be been absent from here for quite some time. If not for a friend who asked me about this, I would have probably forgotten about it. I guess I just got lost in life again.
A lot of things has happened, good things bad things. Sometimes you don't realize how significant things can be until it happens, by then there is no point crying. I'm seeing life in a very different perspective now, yet I'm still holding on to my old believe. It's a contradiction that tires me down often. I know what I should do, yet I can't find the strength to partake in a new endeavor. It's a horrible feeling.
I keep reminding myself to think positive, but now I realize, those kind of mentality is often self-delusional in a way. So much is locked up inside, yet there are no comfortable ways to release it. So much secrets, so little time.
Random thoughts that stem from the same misery. Only those that knows the truth knows what it is, yet they too do not understands it, because only I do. That is probably what hurt most. The inability to share with others what you are feeling inside. Yet at the same time, I do not need other to ask me about it, because I know that they cannot understand it. Sympathy is not what I need.