I have known this since a long long time ago, but somehow I never did learned from all these painful experiences. Anybody who does not ask for your face pic before hand but willing to have sex with you are definitely not your average guy. They also tend to under declare their age and weight. I told myself that I am being a good Samaritan to have sex with them. Maybe I'm just not good at saying no. Or maybe I was just horny as hell and any outlet are enough for me. Does that make me a slut? Probably.
Among my painful experience was a middle age bold hairstylist, sissy malay, fat men and ugly uncles. Talk about just naming a few. Sigh. Maybe with my average look, it is hard for me to nail down fresh meat, I guess it is time to find some steady sex partner instead. But with all my pass ONS encounters, none of them really rise to the occasion of becoming my sex buddy. I guess I am holding to the strict code of ethic for ONS, which is really once only. I find myself unable to perform as well after the first encounter. It's as if I'm bored with them already and little junior prefer to go somewhere new instead. Or maybe it is time for me to venture into local sauna to seek for pleasure in the dark. But that is so sad, albeit fun. I don't want to end up a desperate old man. I'm not even 30 yet to date.
Maybe I should seriously consider beefing up my body in the gym. Nothing like a good 6 pack. But then people say that those muscle are just for show and it is a prove of your superficialness. Sigh. To tread on the fine line of being sophisticated and superficial is not an easy task.
From an age of innocence to a time of flagrant debauchery; from finding love to losing hope, this is the life journey of a Chinese gay guy born in KL, Malaysia where he tries to make sense of his homosexuality, his life and the world around him.
12 August 2007
11 August 2007
Ambiguousness
"Are we sex buddy?"
"We are more than that."
"Are we a couple?"
"We are less than that."
"What are we then?"
"We are us, you and me, two person enjoying each other's company."
Ambiguous relationship. Seems that alot of people hate those. But I believe in balance of the world, if there are alot of people hating something, there should be equally alot of people loving them.
What makes people like such a relationship? Exactly the indistinctness that makes it so interesting. Every date is like the first date. There is no talk of future, only the moment that matters. Is that not the essence of a good relationship? Commitments weights down a relationship. Maybe being a typical Sagittarius, I cherish my freedom above all else, but one can't blame the zodiac for everything. I guess it depends on what is it that you seek in a relationship. But then you realized that not many people knows what is it that they really want in a relationship. They merely want it because everyone else has it, failing to understand what other people is having. Hmm... so does people who like ambiguous relationship knows what they want or were they merely clueless of what they want? I guess it's like what the sunscreen song says, "don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."
"We are more than that."
"Are we a couple?"
"We are less than that."
"What are we then?"
"We are us, you and me, two person enjoying each other's company."
Ambiguous relationship. Seems that alot of people hate those. But I believe in balance of the world, if there are alot of people hating something, there should be equally alot of people loving them.
What makes people like such a relationship? Exactly the indistinctness that makes it so interesting. Every date is like the first date. There is no talk of future, only the moment that matters. Is that not the essence of a good relationship? Commitments weights down a relationship. Maybe being a typical Sagittarius, I cherish my freedom above all else, but one can't blame the zodiac for everything. I guess it depends on what is it that you seek in a relationship. But then you realized that not many people knows what is it that they really want in a relationship. They merely want it because everyone else has it, failing to understand what other people is having. Hmm... so does people who like ambiguous relationship knows what they want or were they merely clueless of what they want? I guess it's like what the sunscreen song says, "don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."
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