Bao bei, you might not believe this, but you are in my mind every second of my waking hours. I am thinking of you, thinking of the moments we spent together, thinking of all the things I wanted to say to you, thinking about all the never ending sorry that I would like to tell you. I have not been able to function without you, yet I dare not ask for your forgiveness, nor dare I show any sign of sadness for fear of all the retorts that might hurt you further. Forgive me for my selfishness.