"How could you betray me? I invited you! And what did you do afterwards? Both of you went behind my back to play without me. Why?"
"You were not free that day and we don't want you to feel jealous or left out, so we decided to keep mum."
"Please, regardless of whether I'm free or not, you guys would still do it without telling me."
"No, of course not. We will definitely tell you if you are free."
"That's not the point. The point is, he and me are together. Both of you are not suppose to plan this sort of things!"
Trust has always been a critical issue in any gay relationship. Infidelity is always around the corner. But how could it not be so when most gay relationship blossom from the seed of lust. When one meets the other through hookup, regardless if it's one to one or group, we should know very well that both has developed a pallette for assorted men. And yet we are surprised that they will not remain monogamous.
Granted, they are those who succeed in braving through the sea of raging sexual hormone, but those are rare. Even among these rare few, are those who can keep a secret very well.
As Mark Twain puts it, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Thus, if you don't mind inviting your friend to have sex with your boyfriend, then it should not matter if your friend had sex with your boyfriend without you, because likely you will have sex with your friend without your boyfriend. Hypocrisy? Double standard? No, it's justification to right our actions and to rebuke those who wronged us.