A Pillar in Life

People get into relationship for different reasons, but the way I see it, no matter the facets of reasons, the essence is to find a pillar to support our life. Living in the modern society, a loner can hardly survive. Steeling oneself against the whole world take a lot of determination and strength, not something for a common man. Especially not when you have realize how life was with the presence of another. True, it takes a lot to maintain that pillar in our life, as it is prone to deterioration. All relationship needs effort from both side to maintain.

Momentum

Just because we meet someone online that seems compatible with each other, doesn't always means that it will translate into something substantial. Often I find that we need to ask the person out right there and then, for a drink, a date or just down right dirty fun, if we were to expect anything out of it. Else, with the momentum lost, all will be lost.

Unlike the good old days where msn is still around, we can drop by to say hi whenever we see the person online, because often, when we see another person on msn, it  means that the other guy is free. But nowadays with whatsapp or line, it's hard to tell if the person is busy with something or not. True, we can still say hi, but how disappointing it is when the person fails to reply or maybe decided to ignore the message instead. I know I have done that many a times, ignoring messages from online acquaintances.

看透

心中起伏如浪潮，原来我的心没有离开过你的身边，说看透只是欺骗自己，我痛苦的泪落向何处？

看透不过是我告诉身边人的话，
在我的心中我清楚知道我所执迷的背影，
敛藏着我对你的亏欠。
但是你已远去，
留下的痕迹已看不见轮廓，
甜美的记忆总是消逝的最快，
我让心隐隐作痛，
只为了留住我对你的思念。

痛

对你的思念，我不会斩，也不会忘……我选择痛！让我心的刺痛来记住那种感觉，让我无时无刻都感受这种刺痛，只有这样，我才会一直记住，一直……不忘。

《求魔》

Vow

I encounter millions of bodies in my life; of these millions, I may desire some hundreds; but of these hundreds, I love only one.
Roland Barthes, A Lover's Discourse: Fragments

It takes being ill to remind me of how much I missed you. Just not too long ago, I thought that the feeling has finally retreat into the background as a low murmur, but then it screams and now it echos loudly. I'm glad that the feeling returns; reminds me of where I vow to place my love.