27 December 2016

Everlasting Grief

I asked myself, if I have move in with you. If I have stopped you from meeting with your ex, would we still be together? Maybe I should have been more determine with you, fighting for your return to my side. Maybe I should just accept the cruel fact that I shall remain alone for the rest of my life. So much questions, yet it shall all remain unresolved.

I wanted to hate you so much for raising me up to heaven and making me fall into the abyssal hell that I am in now. But I can't for I love you still. I can only hate myself for loving you so much. I can only hate myself for allowing myself to love again. It took me a year to let go of my previous relationship. That gruesome one year where I cry myself to sleep every night. Now I have to live through that again.

Maybe it is karma. Maybe it is punishment long destined for me. I know not anything else but succumb to this everlasting grief and loneliness.

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