帅哥绝缘体

我发现我越来越不希望认识帅哥了，就连多看他们几眼我也有点抗拒了。原因很简单，帅哥只有当下的第一眼才好看，看久了就变的不这么帅去了，有些更完全掉出帅哥榜。每个星期去健身房碰见的帅哥变的普通去了，更不辛地认识了几个帅哥但却被他们的思考行为举动给弄的我开始相信上天是公平的，原来好看的人都有缺点，这都不是酸葡萄心理。但是丑人也多作怪，那些我很丑可是我有内在美的性格却往往让我敬而远之。看来我还是应该锻炼成为帅哥绝缘体以保持帅哥们在我的性幻想里保有一席地位，要不然就只有走回不需要用手的日子了。。。好累哦。。。

Ignorance Is Bliss

"Have you never wish that you were normal?"
"In what way am I not normal?"
"I mean, don't you wish that you were straight?"
"Hmm... never really thought about that."
"Have you thought about getting married and having children?"
"I like children, but raising them? No... that's why I don't have pets."

I guess I have always been naive growing up. Looking back, it seems like a blessing to me now. I have never question my own sexuality. I have never wonder why I am gay. Nor am I interested in knowing the reason. Some friends has been growing up tortured. Wondering why that they are gay, reading on scraps of information available to them back then when the internet is still in its infancy, telling them about their own sexuality. Some points to the lack of father figure in their life, some says that they were born with it. They desperately seeking to understand themselves, which in turn bring forth dilemmas and torments.

At some point in my life, I come to consider that being gay is simply a way of life for me. Someone once told me that it's all about perception and I agree with him that how you live your life, gay or straight, is how you perceive it. But as perception goes, there are different perspective about perception. It's no longer about right or wrong, it's all about your own acceptance. My perception might be so forth but that doesn't mean it would suits you. You might disagree with the lifestyle I lead but that I certainly doesn't give a damn. I think of it as a progression of mindset from understanding to accepting yourself to accepting others and realizing that it is their choice to live that way, however much we do not agree with it. 

The friend told me later that if people around him were to find out that he was gay, he would probably move to another country or commit suicide. I guess I would mourn him if I know that he commits suicide but then again, I would respect his choice in life regardless of how I perceive his decision. 

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

离歌

"长痛不如短痛，如果你不爱他了，你就应该告诉他。"

"你又不是他，你又怎么知道长痛不如短痛呢？"

"我是过来人，我当然知道。"

"过来人，你从哪里走过来啊？左边还是右边？"

"感情不是儿戏。"

"我像在玩吗？"

"一脚踏两船还不算玩？"

"那你要我怎样？"

"你不爱他就应该分手啊。"

"没听过吗，宁教人打仔，莫教人分妻。不要多管闲事好不好。"

"他是一个好人，我不能忍受你这样愚弄他的感情。我看不下去啊。"

"那就不要看啊。去管你自己就好了。"

因为经历过了所以才知道痛。因为痛过所以才知道什么是应该，什么是不应该。经历是多么个人的一件事但却能够那么随意的盖在别人身上。己所不欲，勿施于人。那么己所欲，则施于人？每个人对快乐的追求是不一样的，为何我们非得看到我们的朋友和我们一样快乐呢？对他们来说，我们真的快乐吗？为何我们总把我们的理想冠盖在别人身上？