Remorse

I have blood on my hands
and as I wipe away the stain with my tears
my heart shatters into pieces
cutting into the core of my soul

The silent scream of remorse deafen
and as I lay there staring into the darkness
my body shivers uncontrollably
the mind lost in perpetual sadness

Knowing that I have do you wrong
and no amount of wishing or trying
can undo my sin
with rue my life spirals

I dare not look you in the eyes
for fear to the see the pain in them
if only you will hate me more
maybe the misery will overwhelm this guilt

放下

当你意识到生命开始走向结束
你就知道
一些事不是放不下
只是不想放下 

心里的那一丝遗憾
让人含恨而终
但是在真正离开之前
这个虚假的情怀却也是一种欣慰
安抚那因为死亡而麻木的心灵 

当一切已经失去意义
我只能凭借虚幻来安慰自己
人生剩余的路上
我并非自己一个攀越
虽然寂寞在呐喊
但我却充耳不闻
既然终点已经清楚的展现在眼前
何必介怀别人的眼光？

Life

Live like it is your last day on earth, I always thought that this quote is encouraging. But now I realize it only works under the pretense that you are not really dying tomorrow or anytime soon for that matter. Because if today is really your last day to live, it's going to be a hard day to live. Where should you start living? Who should you spend it with? What should be the last thing you do? What do you wear for your grand finale? So much things to do and decide yet so little time. But then again, the sheer pressure of death by midnight surely overwhelms anyone, that it becomes insignificant what we do on your last day alive.

We all know that we are going to die sooner or later, but we will always think that it is later, rather then sooner. So when it happens sooner, can we handle it? If you know for sure that  you shall perish by the next 1, 3, 5 or 10 years, given this fixed amount of days to live, can you really live well? It's hard to imagine ourselves dying soon, because even people who are dying wouldn't really put their mind about it. Regardless of how much people embrace death, the cold lingering touch it leaves can freezes you over. The touch of death is in a way a physical connection, not an imaginative one, because you can't imagine death until deaths knocks on your door.

今生今世

同一首歌，不同的人听有不同的领悟
我朋友说这首歌很浪漫
但是我却感觉很忧愁

天也老 任海也老
唯望此爱爱未老
愿意今生约定
他生再拥抱

有时会想是否今世的债要在来时还
还是说今世的情是前世的愁
纠缠不清
但是我知道今世欠你的我永远还不了
只望盼来世能补偿