相思泪心头滴

呆坐房内
    眼望荧光
        释怀的旋律在耳边。

喃喃自语
    心系远方
        几分落寞几分愁。

无言的结局

你离开的多么突然走的完全无声无息
你说你已经想清楚了是时候我们分手
我向你乞求一个坦诚相对的最后机会
你却和我说你已经没任何话要对我讲
这句话让我的心在当下彻底的粉碎了
在一起的时光最终换来的是无言以对
我和自己说那是因为你怕自己会后悔
但这只是我安慰自己的一个说法而已
相爱后剩下无言是分手最残酷的理由

The Love I Meant to Say

Sorry, that's the word I want to sing to you
The other word is stay
To hear the love I meant to say

Break a cherry

Do you remember the first time you get down and dirty with another man? I'm sure you do. Mine, well, it wasn't the most pleasant of experience. But I did redeem myself with a threesome on my second endeavor, so I guess I was even with myself.

My first sexual experience started right after I was over 18, for some reason that's the age when I allow myself to have a taste of men. Probably quite young for my age group, for I know people who have their first taste of man much later then me. But I also know that kids nowadays started way younger, too young for their own good I guess. Because by the age of 18, they have done it all.

Would I advice the younger generation to hold their first time for the person they love? Well... sex is over rated, but I have to admit, making love feels much better then having sex. Cherish it if you happen to chance upon it, else rampant sex can merely satisfy our primal urge, not that tingling sensation of love and lust collides.

Betrayal

Betrayal is one of the worst pain ever a man can endure regardless of whether you are betrayed by a colleague, a friend, a lover, a family member or a country man. That someone abused the trust you gave them, it is as if your body has been violated, granted there are people who fantasize about being raped, but betrayal is at a level beyond many of us.

I realize that people who were betrayed always blame the person who betrayed them. I guess it is only human that we divert the pain we feel inside into anger that we could channel outside. We never stop and wonder why we were betrayed. One might think it's pathetic wanting to give a valid reason to justify our betrayal, but consider this, being trusting is one thing, being ignorant is another.

Rendezvous in the gym

"Aren't you scared when you do it in the open?"
"That's part of the excitement."
"True, but imagine people finding out."
"Well, rest assure that it is not as big a secret as you think."
"You mean people are aware of you guys doing it there?"
"I think so. I think there might even be something similar happening next door."
"Wow... that's unimaginable to me."
"Once you've tried it, then you'll know that it's actually much more common then you think."
"Hmm..."

Many a stories I heard about people having sex in the gym shower. This has eluded me all these years, but finally I have a first hand experience. From what I have gathered, it starts in the steam room. People taking off their towel to sit on the bench, circumstantially exposing their soft tool. Then you'll see another person sitting or standing opposite, or parading around, adjusting their towel or what not. The braver one would just sit down and slowly edge their hand or leg towards the other person. And if the guy was not startled or react, then it probably means green to go.

Is it exciting? Indeed it can be so. Exciting as it is, but I do wonder, is it worth the risk?

Selagi Ada.. (Cinta)

Selagi ada cinta di hatiku,
Selagi ada rindu yang membara,
Selagi air mata ini mengalir,
Kau tetap di hati ini,
Cintamu tetap di hati.

Alangkah baiknya kalau anda tetap di sisiku, tetapi yang tinggal hanyalah rinduku padamu
Rindu bersemi menjadi kesepian yang menggegarkan, tetapi yang kedengaran hanyalah bunyi tangisan

The Days After 5th of May

On the 5th of May, I exercise my right as a citizen of Malaysia, only to discover along with the rest of the country, how easily removed the indelible ink was. Then on the same night, the excitement of possibly overturning the dictatorship turned into sadness when it seems that dirty politic tricks was used. The next two days was filled with further disappointment  both to the country and to the people of the country. The racist statements, the rumors of violence and the irrational thinking of many people.

What does the Chinese want? If you still have to ask, it shows how little you know about the Chinese after 50 plus odd years.

一生所爱

情人别后 永远再不来 (消散的情缘)
无言独坐 放眼尘世外 (愿来日再续)

如果相比整个世界，吉隆坡应该是很小。但是对我来说，它还是无比的大。至少它可以大到阻隔我俩相见。谁说世界上最痛苦的是我就站在你面前但你却不知道我爱你？能够天天见面，虽然爱无法言语，至少那份痛苦还能慰籍那颗可望爱的心。明明可以看得见，但却不能碰面。明明可以听见，但是必须失连。明明很关心，但又不能慰问。不是不想，而是不能。旁人无法了解，也无须任何人去了解。这种孤独、痛苦难以形容。