01 April 2006

Bottoms Up

It seems that I have, all this while, ignorantly misinterpreted the word bottom. I always thought that bottom refers to a person's role during intercourse where a top is someone who perform the entry while bottom are the one who were being entered. Or more plainly, the top fucks while be the bottom are fucked. How wrong was I...

I have actually met quite a few people online who proclaim themselves bottom, but when press for further details revealed that they have actually never done it before. Some were even lacking in sexual experiences. I was puzzled as to how they come to this conclusion that they are bottom. I always thought that you must try it before you know which role suits you best. The initial pain of anal sex should not be taken lightly. Blame it on the internet for making porn so easily available and making people believe that it is all high and wild fun. Let someone fuck you first before you say you are a bottom. Stick to being a top until then. That's what I thought. It's true that a skilled top can make your experience much enjoyable, but how many of us actually has a skilled top for a first time. And if you can't get over the pain phobia, you're probably never gonna allow it until the time when you are in need of an endorscopy.

But now, after several encounters, I seem to be grasping the real meaning of being a bottom. It is actually more of an idea with complex incorporation of the need and preferences of a person in regards to physical and emotional dependency rather then simple pendulum movement of swing in swing out. It was probably twisted the other way round or terms generated to better explain the behavior of gay people but if we were to expand the term top and bottom to include heterosexual relationship, a top would be a man while a bottom a woman. A man enters, a woman entered. In this way, we can also see a correlation that a bottom is very much like a woman. Someone, who in a patriach society, acts as the weaker role that needs TLC. In this sense, a bottom gay man are someone who wants to be taken care of instead of needing to take care someone. They are like the wife in a gay marriage who are suppose to cook, iron and feed the dog. The husband has to bring in the food, buy the cloth and walk the dog. That does not mean that a bottom must be  someone who is effiminate or prefer being entered. You can still be a bottom while entering someone as I am lead to believe.

But many people are confused, assuming that a bottom only refers to someone who like to be fucked. Sexual satisfaction aside, a bottom would prefer to be appretiated and loved. Really, I don't think there are many bottom who just wanted to be fucked and disregard being loved. A top might just wanna shag, but definately not a bottom. Or so help us god. So, the next time you meet a bottom, don't jump into conclusion that they want you to shag them. Really, top guys, treat bottoms with some love and respect first if you really wanna shag that young cute bottom you met on axcest. And by some, I mean lots of work before and lots of works after aka courting and breaking-up.

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