15 July 2007

Lesser of two evils

"When you are in a relationship as long as mine, you tend to lose interest of having sex with your partner and seek thrill outside."
"Does he knows?"
"I guess, but it was never discussed."
"Guess he must love you very much to tolerate this then."

Some might spit on this kind of person, those that seek sex outside of their relationship and wanting their partner to tolerate it. But you would be surprise on the numbers of couples that experience the same thing, merely for the continual of a relationship. It is not just gay relationship, similar things happens to straight relationship too. When was the last time you think your parents had sex? It’s just how a relationship grows into and how one choose to cope with it.

Why would people subject themselves to such torment? Could it be because they are tired of starting all over again in a relationship? If you are 18, you can afford to try again and again. But when you have tried so many times, failing so many times, reaching an age which the circle deems obsolete, you start to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. It is often as good as it gets, and one need to know when to be satisfied with what one have and not dreaming for the impossible. For if you let it go, it might never come back again and that whatever follows might be worse then the previous one. End of the day, one become bitter. To quote a friend, you don’t marry the man you love, you learn to love the man you married.

Which is harder to come by, love or sex? We all knew the answer. But if one finds out that the person one love had sex with other people, one would without hesitation break out with the person out of spite and jealousy. You wonder why he could do such thing eventhough you know yourself that the sex was not as it was. Can you really blame him when the lust of each other’s body has dwindled? You can celibate, why can’t he? He can have sex with others, why can’t you? It’s an argument that goes nowhere.

Maybe if one is honest with their partner, it would solve the problem. No, it wouldn’t. Some things are not meant to be put on the table. You might know that you partner is having sex with someone else, but there is no comfort in knowing the truth. Ignorance is bliss. Why fool yourself? Because truth hurts more. If the truth spills out, can you afford to breakup the relationship and start all over again? Do you think you have another 5 years to cultivate what you have now? Are you sure that you would prefer not having anyone then to have an unfaithful someone eventhough it was just a fling? You sure you want to grow old alone? This said, do you still want to know the truth?

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