08 June 2008

Coming of Age

Somehow, I'm feeling old lately and have not been able to shake it off. Eventhough many has assured me otherwise, I guess being near to yet another turning point in life makes one jitters, although I have no idea how it comes about. I could probably blame it on the people that I have come to know lately. Many are in their early twenties, some even only barely legal of age. But eventhough they are young, it surprise me to find that they are quite mature in their own way and it triggers me to recall about myself when I was their age. I certainly can't say that I'm on par with them when I was their age. Come to think of it, I was rather dubious in life back then. Hmm... I'm still dubious in life now actually. wtf.

Acronyms. Another thing that I picked up from them which are really bad. My peers hardly uses them. It's bad enough that I have cute emoticons stashed on my msn, I have come to speak their language too. Some might consider me desperate for young flesh or worse a pedophile. Yikes. Come to think of it, when I was their age, they were just kids that might not even be tall enough to ride a roller coaster. See how they grow. Damn, I does sounds like a pedophile. lmao.

I guess I have always come to term with my own sexuality. But with more and more friends getting married and having kids, I sometimes wonder if I should just jump on the bandwagon too. Sure, there are the usual comments that a gay man can never be straight and that we should not ruin a girls life or maybe leaving bad impacts to the family. That we should not be selfish. Yadda yadda yadda. In this dog-eat-dog world, it's every man for himself. I've never believed in playing by the rules anyway. And I guess if I was to conform to the standard morality, I wouldn't be gay in the first place. But those are philosophical debates for other times.

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