Not that I have any time at all to look at men. Well, actually there were lots of time, but I swear that all my concentration are on finishing the run. But then there were time, lots of them actually, where men overtook me. Men drench in sweat. Men in some rather tight or short outfit. Men with strong legs. Men with well defined butt protruding through the sweat soak shorts. I think I saw some rather cute guy running, but I definitely saw a lot of cute guys at the finishing line, all healthy men with great endurance and stamina. Obviously I'm not implying that I am one seeing that I'm limping now.
But the more astonishing men that I see are not good looking or fit men, but men in their senior years and men who seems to be overweight. That all these uncles in their fifties or sixties are running at a constant speed for the full marathon while the rest of the young men are walking, that's respect. Then there are men and women who seemingly are overweight but are also running at a better pace. Salute!
These men are definitely different from the men I saw in gym. There were only a handful of muscle men I see, but I see a lot more that is lean fit. I wonder where all they went to gym... obviously not the same one as I go to.
From an age of innocence to a time of flagrant debauchery; from finding love to losing hope, this is the life journey of a Chinese gay guy born in KL, Malaysia where he tries to make sense of his homosexuality, his life and the world around him.
28 June 2009
24 June 2009
不抱怨的世界
~如果不喜欢一件事,就改变那件事;如果无法改变,就改变自己的态度。不要抱怨。
~批评就像其他的抱怨,也可能是一种吹牛,自夸的形式。
这是我对这几天所发生的事的意见。
~当周遭的人在抱怨,你也觉得没有必要指正对方,而只是观察着这样的现象。因为你即不批评,也不抱怨,对方也不必为自己辩解,抱怨很快就止息了。
本来我不想多说但又耐不着,想卡一脚。。。看来要换手带了。
~“处理”和“抱怨”不同。“处理”是分享你对已经发生的事件有何感受,而不是去重朔这些事件。当你在“处理”某一些经验时,要确定自己说的话都是聚焦于自己的感受,而不是你对这件事的解读和说明。
好象又不用换叻。。。
~批评就像其他的抱怨,也可能是一种吹牛,自夸的形式。
这是我对这几天所发生的事的意见。
~当周遭的人在抱怨,你也觉得没有必要指正对方,而只是观察着这样的现象。因为你即不批评,也不抱怨,对方也不必为自己辩解,抱怨很快就止息了。
本来我不想多说但又耐不着,想卡一脚。。。看来要换手带了。
~“处理”和“抱怨”不同。“处理”是分享你对已经发生的事件有何感受,而不是去重朔这些事件。当你在“处理”某一些经验时,要确定自己说的话都是聚焦于自己的感受,而不是你对这件事的解读和说明。
好象又不用换叻。。。
10 June 2009
Dumb & Dumber
"Dumb ass, what do you expect? She accepted your invitation of dinner on her birthday."
"It's just a dinner, I didn't make a big deal of it."
"Not everyone is a loser like you that like to spend their birthday alone."
"Excuse me."
"Somemore you gave her a present."
"It's her birthday, what's wrong with present? Plus, it's just some small things I get on the way."
"She doesn't treat it that way. Imagine going out to dinner with a guy alone on your birthday and getting a present, it totally hinted that you like her."
"What?"
The bad thing about not being openly gay is that sometimes you forgot that you are gay. We spend so much effort in making ourselves attractive to the same sex that we forgot that it very likely attracts the opposite sex even more. Many of the gay men I knew would probably make a very good husband- they cook, they take great care of their parents, they maintain their looks, they workout and are most probably artistically incline in some sort of musical talents (although I find that I'm missing most traits I just mentioned, luckily my sexual preferences towards male body confirms my gayness albeit in a pathetically sad way).
Blame it on David Beckham in blurring metrosexual and homosexual. Back then dressing up nicely makes you gay, now, not only do we have to distinctively demonstrate our sexuality in a ever more metrosexual society in order to nail the guy we want, we also have to act straight but somehow deter girls for thinking that we are husband material. Not forgetting all the family members that constantly bicker about when we are starting our family.
I devised a plan. I think I'll just move to a different country for a couple of years. Detaching myself from using MSN or facebook. Then come back two years later and when people asked me when I'm getting married, I'll just conjure up the Golden Globe Best Actor in me and says, "Once is enough, I don't think I can go through all the hassle of getting married, divorce and everything." Throw in a sad little smile and turn my head to one side. I think that would be enough to stop most people from asking... I hope...
04 June 2009
Rant
So there was this unknown guy that prompts me on msn, obviously someone I have removed from my list. After the short pleasantry exchange, I confessed that I have no recollection who he is and he told me that we chatted long time ago and never met before. For no apparent reason, the conversation make a sharp turn.
"I was at the club the other day and someone asked to fuck me, but I am top wo, how ah?"
"Go get fuck then, you might like it."
"But how ah? How to get fuck ah?
"Google it."
"How la, I don't know wo."
I removed and blocked him. What the hell was he thinking? First, I don't believe that people can be so thick that they do not know how to use Google. Second, is that suppose to be some ice breaking conversation? I mean, come on, of all the things one can say, that is one the of dumbest and most desperate thing I have ever heard. My personal take on him was that he is obviously a super bottom deprieved of sex and most likely going for something like "Can you show me ah?" at the end of the conversation. Indeed most top have this egoistic satisfaction of converting another top to bottom, but top fuck with their dick not think with their dick.
Argh... idiot!!
"I was at the club the other day and someone asked to fuck me, but I am top wo, how ah?"
"Go get fuck then, you might like it."
"But how ah? How to get fuck ah?
"Google it."
"How la, I don't know wo."
I removed and blocked him. What the hell was he thinking? First, I don't believe that people can be so thick that they do not know how to use Google. Second, is that suppose to be some ice breaking conversation? I mean, come on, of all the things one can say, that is one the of dumbest and most desperate thing I have ever heard. My personal take on him was that he is obviously a super bottom deprieved of sex and most likely going for something like "Can you show me ah?" at the end of the conversation. Indeed most top have this egoistic satisfaction of converting another top to bottom, but top fuck with their dick not think with their dick.
Argh... idiot!!
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