Dumb & Dumber

"Dumb ass, what do you expect? She accepted your invitation of dinner on her birthday."
"It's just a dinner, I didn't make a big deal of it."
"Not everyone is a loser like you that like to spend their birthday alone."
"Excuse me."
"Somemore you gave her a present."
"It's her birthday, what's wrong with present? Plus, it's just some small things I get on the way."
"She doesn't treat it that way. Imagine going out to dinner with a guy alone on your birthday and getting a present, it totally hinted that you like her."
"What?"

The bad thing about not being openly gay is that sometimes you forgot that you are gay. We spend so much effort in making ourselves attractive to the same sex that we forgot that it very likely attracts the opposite sex even more. Many of the gay men I knew would probably make a very good husband- they cook, they take great care of their parents, they maintain their looks, they workout and are most probably artistically incline in some sort of musical talents (although I find that I'm missing most traits I just mentioned, luckily my sexual preferences towards male body confirms my gayness albeit in a pathetically sad way).

Blame it on David Beckham in blurring metrosexual and homosexual. Back then dressing up nicely makes you gay, now, not only do we have to distinctively demonstrate our sexuality in a ever more metrosexual society in order to nail the guy we want, we also have to act straight but somehow deter girls for thinking that we are husband material. Not forgetting all the family members that constantly bicker about when we are starting our family.

I devised a plan. I think I'll just move to a different country for a couple of years. Detaching myself from using MSN or facebook. Then come back two years later and when people asked me when I'm getting married, I'll just conjure up the Golden Globe Best Actor in me and says, "Once is enough, I don't think I can go through all the hassle of getting married, divorce and everything." Throw in a sad little smile and turn my head to one side. I think that would be enough to stop most people from asking... I hope...