In Darkness We Wait

In darkness we wait. That is what half naked men do in sauna. As much as it is a place for some men to release their unruly sexual urges, what most of them does is to walk and stand around, even those good looking ones. Though I once wonder why does good looking men need to go to sauna, I have yet to reach a conclusive answer. But I believe it has to do with the fact that some of us need more sex than what we currently have, ranging from a zero for the less fortunate one, to a one for the attached one, and of course not forgetting the wild one which has no limit. Whatever the reason, they might not always get all that they want due standards issues. Standards being what they expect in other men, and what other men expect good looking men to want. The fact is, they all want the same thing, yet they are too shy to approach, cause really if there is no good men around, would you loiter there a few hours instead?

Music to the ear

There are over six thousand songs in my iPod now, some of them belongs to you. I can tell which songs I got from you, which songs were already there before that. Sometimes I wonder, would we be listening to the same song at the exact moment, but I know that the chance is slim. Yet I dwell in the thought, that at least I'm listening to songs that you will likely listen to, eventhough not at the exact same moment as I. 

There are times that I repeatedly listen to the same song over and over again, just to make myself remember, to recall what it was like, what it was like to lose you. I seem to be hook onto the tingling sensation of despair. How peculiar that life can flip so easily. There was a time when jovial rhythm strike my chords, but now I seem to resonate with sad love songs instead. 

雨后

傍晚的时候下了一场大雨，现在外面的空气冷冷的，很清凉。突然外面传来两只野狗追逐狂吠的声音，我一时好奇走出外面。但是当我走到走廊时，却已经看不见它们的踪影了。我深深的吸了一口气，感受着晚上的宁静。我望向橙色灯光照亮的街道，目光停留在路旁的汽车，突然我想起了你。我想起了以前每当你来我家找我时，你都是在外面奔波后才来。很多时候你会趁着在等我的时候，在车里瞌睡一会。我有试过叫你上来我家睡，但是由于家里有人不大方便，所以你婉拒了。当然，我知道你洁癖的性格，让你对我那零乱的房间敬而远之。那时候我想，如果我有自己的家多好，那将会是我们两人的安乐窝。当然，现在已经没有这种想法了，就连想拥有自己一个家的梦也让它随风飘去了。

有人说，人生路上可以放弃的东西很多，唯独梦想不能放弃，但我却无法苟同。虽然人生可以放弃的东西很多，但是如果我们有着一股执著，我们依然能够保存它的，同样的如果我们坚决要放弃，无论多伟大的梦想依然可以随风飘逝。写完了，电台播着莫文蔚的如果没有你，正好是我现在，不，我过去几个月的心情写照。亲爱的，你是否也像我一样在想你？

想念的心情

亲爱的，你知道吗，我已经养成了一个习惯，那就是每晚睡觉前，都会抱着那个你留下的枕头，轻轻的亲吻它，然后和它说，"亲爱的晚安，想你，爱你，对不起"。闭上眼睛，幻想着你就在身边睡着了。脑海里就会浮现前面的那一段话，一段我告诉自己要记录下来的话，但是却等到今天才真正把它写下来。每天日复日的做同样的一件事，让它成为习惯，慰籍我那想念你的心，奈何回忆逐渐模糊，但是心情却日益沉重。

我是真的很爱你！

原来真的会有那么一句简单的话让人的心悸动，就算已经过去了几天，但是当我再次想起时，我的手还是会微微的颤动，整个人哽咽起来。可笑的是，我不知道你为何这么说，或是向谁说。我有多期望你是和我说的，但是我却生生的把这个妄想压下。这是一个矛盾的心情，我对这句话有强烈的欲望，但是我却告诉自己不能期望，奈何我又放不下。百感交集涌入心灵深处，狠狠敲打在我的心头上。就算过去了这么久，我依然能够深深感受到那份情怀。