I thought I caught him at the corner of my eyes but when I paused and turn my head around, it was not him walking by. And it hits me suddenly that I still miss him a lot. My heart aches every time I think about him, of all the pain that I have caused him. The feeling of guilt overwhelms me and my eyes watered slightly. I close my eye, took a deep breath and continue walking.
It's twenty pass seven in the evening. Just after office hour. The gym is starting to pack with people. I scanned my membership card at the counter and proceed to exchange it for two white towels. I run up the short steps onto the second floor and went into the male changing room. Men of different ages and shapes is changing inside. Some of them dashing, some of them disaster, but after coming here for nearly 6 years, I'm somehow unmoved by the sight of near naked men.
I took the water bottle out of and lock my bag inside. With the smaller towel flung over my right shoulder, I left the changing room and went back down to the first floor. The previous class hasn't finish yet, so I move to one of the machine to lift some weights. I thought to myself, if only I have done it properly, I would have a six pack by now, but then again, there are a lot of things that I should have done but never come about doing. That makes me think about him again. I push the feeling aside.
The class finish and the people inside came out. The next group went in to put their boards onto the floor. I went in, grab my boards and put it on my usual spot at the left corner. We all waiting for the step class instructor to come.
I've joined step class since I first joined this gym several years ago. I tried dancing too but then I found out that I can't dance. Instead, step turns into something that I am quite good at, from beginner class to advance class, I stepped up. I guess I can be consider a senior of the class, but of course everybody in here can follow the class well.
Seven fifty and he is late again but that his habit. I told him about my annoyance of him being late, but he jokingly explains to me that it's the diva in him, so I have to accept it. I did. I met him in this exact class, and I have to admit that I joined the class because of him. He was cute. I was thrill when I had a chance to play with him in bed. It's kind of like dream come true back then. After that we kept our promiscuous relationship and remained friends with benefits. I have feelings for him, but it never to blossom into anything. I was disappointed once, but now I'm glad that it didn't.
Finally he came in right before the class started and put his board on the other end of the room. The music starts. He saw me and motion for us to go for dinner later. I nod my head and then turn my attention to the class.