The Best ~ Tine Turner

ONS, it is the third thing that a gay man learns when he starts his journey out of the closet into the world. The first thing he learns is his interest in men. The second thing should be the pleasure of masturbation. The third is ONS which is accompanied by kissing, oral sex and, but not necessary inclusive, anal sex. That is the more common flow. There might be jumbling of sequence for some, but those are probably the three primary aspects for a newly emerging gay.

During the younger age filled with raging hormones, most gays are able to take sex lightly. It was to many of them and outlet of their sexual energy, although it still remains true for some older gays. One of the best attributes of being gay is the amount of random sex that we can have without worrying that we might mistakenly impregnate our partner. The exposure of STDs is equal if you are not practicing safe sex for both  straight and gays. Mind you, globally AIDS are more commonly transferred through heterosexual intercourse than homosexual intercourse. As long as you are willing and capable, there is no lack of sexual adventures and you don’t even need to pay. For most gay, our sexual experience would probably be three if not four fold richer than our straight peers.

But as we age, our urge for sex slowly decrease regardless of our sexual orientation. Gays get tired of having sex with different people and long for a stable relationship. But to some, it is just a passing feeling. Really, having sex with different people can be enticing. It is like eating rice day in day out, one would hope to try bread, noodle or steak once in awhile. Just that for some, their choice of dining are varied more frequent than the rest of us. Of course, some prefer a normal healthy relationship instead of rampant sex. A matter of choice.

What are the benefits of ONS? For one, it exposes us to the different types of people and make us realize that we are very common, we are everywhere. In every economy sector, in every profession and in every housing area too. If you think about it, if one house can have 4 person, one level 6 units, one block 20 levels, one condo 2 blocks, you end up with 960 people in one condo area. The chances of having 1 gay in 960 is not that slim at all.

Sex is a performance mastered through exposure and experience. How else could one become better in it? Certainly no self-help book would help unless you practice it. That is where ONS comes in. You’ll be amazed as to what people are capable of in bed. The transformation from a shy boy to bitchy man can pop your eyes off.

Most of the time, you get a glimpse into the real person when you are in bed. He is naked and he shed some of his pretence. Also, pleasure spots varied, some man just are covered with those while some requires tender maneuver.

~I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wild
When you come to me
Give me everything I need~

Two sides of a coin

"I thought he was different, but I was wrong."
"Different? What are you expecting? You guys chatted for a couple of hours and got into bed!"
"I can feel that he was different when we chat. But after that night, he seems to have change to a different person."
"Hello! Earth calling mars. It's call ONS. One. Uno. The rule of the game is that you are only suppose to play it once with one person."
"It's not a game for me, ok! I thought he wanted friendship. Not just sex."
"You and I are friends, you don't find us sleeping together. Friends don't fool around."
"How could people be so cruel towards other people's feeling?"
"How could anybody be more idiotic then you! Please, I feel like slapping you."

It is true that many would prefer friendship over sex. But one has to accept the fact that there is an equal amount of people wanting sex instead of friendship too. Friendship and sex is like oil and water, those two don't mix. If you want to befriend someone, you don't think about having sex with them. Once you've crossed the threshold, that's it. It’s either moving on to become lovers or drifting apart to become strangers. If it didn’t work out, the blame should not be put onto the person who considers it ons since he never wanted it to work in the first place. The fault is on the wishful thinkers, wishing that it might be the beginning of a great relationship. True, some does start that way but most don't. Why can't they just accept the rules of the game? One might have unwillingly entangled themselves in this devious game call ons but that does not mean the pain will go away miraculously when you've pulled yourself out. Denying what happened on that night doesn't do anything. You have your fun too, you didn't really lose anything. The feelings that one invested is not lost, it's wasted, and all because of one own folly.

What about those friends that fools around together? The technical term is sex buddies. It describes two players of the game that knows the rules of the game very well. They don’t call the other every day and wonders if the other misses him or not. They contact each other when the need arise. They know the risk of sexually transmittable disease if they decided to do it bareback. They don’t take grudges when the other is not free to entertain them. They don’t feel hurt because the other is having fun with other people. They don’t mind sharing the same men. On and on the list can go. If you cannot tolerate such unwritten laws of rampant sex, don’t play the game. If you do not know how complex was the game, don’t judge the game.

Vanity, so be it

So I decided to put up a picture, one that shows nothing but crotch. It seems that gay chatters nowadays like to show bare chest or underwear pics. It's call being discreet it seems, so I'm just tagging along. Mayhap it will attract some attention, probably mostly the wrong kind. But if someone wanted to have sex with you base on your crotch pic and disregard your look, I guess ons would become much more attainable....

Picture Please

People, overall, have over confidence of themselves when it come to their looks. If you are above par, you tend to over estimate how high the par is, which is where the ONS elimination starts. Is it true that handsome and cute guys tend to have more sex then the rest of us and most of their partners are also cute and handsome?

And then there is older people who think that they look young but are actually not. I guess there is probably a generation gap as to the definition of prime body... Age is absolute, we have to accept them regardless...

Spacious Interior

“There might be a third person in my relationship.”
“Ha! Serves you right. Always go fooling around. Time you learn your lesson.”
“Ya ya. But sorry to disappoint you. I meant me having another person, not him.”
“Oh… hmm… so what are you going to do next?”
“I don’t know. Let see how things goes.”
“You don’t worry him finding out?”
“…”
“Oh… sorry… stupid question. Experience and professionalism. I keep forgetting that. Can’t believe I’m saying this… Best of luck?”
“I’m not tossing a coin any time soon.”

Can a man love more then one person? We see some parents giving equal love to all their children. We see siblings loving each other. So, why not a man loving more then one person? Different types of love maybe? But I thought love knows no boundary, so why was it differentiated and having a quota of 1? If we are buying the anti-gay Christian belief that God’s love is limited and do not include same sex love, then who are we, these sinful minute occurrence in the infinite universe, to proclaim our love boundless. We can only best be as limited as our creator. But those are two opposing view, how can a gay man of faith accept them at the same time? Arguments build like castle in the air.

Divine interpretation aside, common man cannot accept a person who can love more than one. They call them slut. But why is it that we cannot accept the fact that some men have rooms in their heart for more than one? We see in history, many men have more than one wife and they live together happily. No reason it cannot happen in this circle. Most of us are weary that they might be playing us a fool. Truth be told, there are abundant of those heartbreakers out there, but so are those rare individual with spacious rooms in their heart. Justification for fooling around? Possible. So is the existence of such men.

We want it whole and we want it all, some may argue. Love is selfish, yet there is two person involved in a relationship. You are being selfish because you want to own the whole man, but he can also be selfish because he wants to make himself available to other people. Whatsoever you should someone do to you, do  so onto them. If you want someone to be faithful to you, you should be faithful to him first. Shouldn’t the other way works the same too, that if I don’t need you to be faithful to me, so can I not be faithful to you. That’s an excuse for fooling around of course. Still, it points out the fact that in a relationship, it is not what you want but what you are willing to give and accept in return. It was never a fair trade but so is life. Anyone who tells you that life is fair must really hate you indeed.

We see in some Chinese series that often when the wife found out that the good husband has another wife outside, she breaks down completely. It seems impossible for a man to perform such feat of caring for two families, but they did it nonetheless. If one never finds out, then life still goes on as usual. Time will unwrap the whole truth and then all hell breaks loose. But the truth does not unmake the man you know, it just makes you see clearer who the man really is. Often, it is a more tarnish version, but that is not the type of men I am referring to. It is those that were good in the beginning and better in the end, those rare few that have adequate space in his heart for two. If two, why not three or four? Rules of Orgies, two is fun, three is a party, four is a mess.

Chat Fun V2.0

Nowadays, you need to have handle(s) to survive in the world wide web. Be it a username that is easy to remember, words with special meanings, phrase that sums you up in the best of manner or simply random words that gives you a touch of mystery. You can't go anywhere without them especially in chatrooms. It is the vital first impression that people make on you so it is often good to choose nicely.

In the case of irc, you can easily change your handle according to your needs. You can opt for the direct approach of calling yourself HornyNow or WantSexNow or any other relevant handle that shows how horny you are. You can also tell the world of your preferences or physic by naming yourself ChubChaser, WantSlimNow, GymFitGuy, CuteYoungBoy or whatsoever strikes your fancy. Some simply give you all their stats in one shot like 28-178-65-b, which seems like a group of code use in the post-apocalyptic human world.

On some chatrooms where you have to register, it is often wise to bear in mind that you are stuck with the handle for a very long time unless you don't mind the whole registering process. It is always a mistake to put your age at the end of your handle coz by the time you've been through the whole thing, you are no longer of that age. It's either misleading or hilarious or both when a guy who is in his late 30s are still using the handle Young18.

Handles aside, I find many gay man are quite rude, bitchy or down right offensive when it comes to chatroom ethic. It is not really seeking attention, it is worse then that. They are just blurting out words that makes people wanna go over and punch them in the face. Down right degrading. I wonder if they act such an ass in real life or not, probably not... cause they should be dead by now if they are indeed such an ass hole.

So, you are in a chatroom and people prompt you for chat, maybe they have sex in mind, maybe not. But I guess it is expected that you'll have both type, mostly those with sex in mind, prompting you if you are in a chatroom. You don't really need to get offensive and all bout those interested in sex. Just simply decline, that's not hard to do. You don't want it doesn't mean other people are not looking for it. No need to get upset and cursing all over.

Then there are those who wanted to swap pic but right after seeing your pic, they go quiet or give you other people's pic. I was quite mad before this about people not giving you their pic after you have given them, but I have learned that it is actually pointless to get upset over such trivial matters. He might think that he looks cute, handsome or whatever in comparison to me, so what, to hell with your look. Funnier still when they gave you a pic that actually belongs to a friend that you might know. Obviously the dude is impersonating a friend to get you off their back, but have they ever wonder that the other party might not really wanna have sex with them. Sigh. Anyway, I sincerely believe that being better looking doesn't mean they score better in sex, although I have to admit that there are a lot of sucker for good look which tip the balance in their favor for being snobby.

Another fun thing to do in chatroom are reading someone's profile on a chatroom, which can immensely increase one's vocabulary database... I learned what's avuncular... something related to uncle, which I don't think I would ever use the word in anywhere. I have no idea such word would exist as a matter of fact... And then vitriolic,something which felt vitriol, another handy word that I might be able to throw in next time... provided it is still in my brain when I switch it off tonight. And also coitusphile, which comes from the word coitus. According to the webster dictionary, it means physical union of male and female genitalia accompanied by rhythmic movements usually leading to the ejaculation of semen from the penis into the female reproductive tract in order word, intercourse. Which can be pronounced as koi-tus or ko-e-tus. Time to go coitus someone.

Chat Fun

What is the most common occurance in a chatroom? Rejection. Either rejecting sexual offer or offer rejected. Some people claim that they reject sexual offer because they are not interested in having ons, but I think it is more likely that they guy offering is not handsome or cute enough. I was told that the goodlooking one often pick, not offer. That is why I wait to be picked up on instead...

Rejection usually starts after the picture trading. Although some start rejecting at a earlier stage of asl and tvb, but it still depends on the picture afterward. Most people would likely pass on a ugly head attached to a  muscled body. To date, the worst rejection thrown at me was... "sorry,you type too slow" Ouch!

So I was bored with nothing much to do on a sunday night and logged on to chatrooms. Not many interesting people online nor did any people prompt me for chat or sex. Instead I spend my time reading some of the stuff people posted on the public room. Many seems desperate for a relationship. But do they really think that they could hit the jackpot there? I wonder... But seeing the increase numbers of people desperate for love, searching on the world wide web, I guess the chance of bumping into one ain't so slim although they might have to scuffle through a horde of horny people before reaching a possible ideal people to chat with...Or, they could always have sex first then hope that one of them turns into Mr Right instead... Somehow it all seems a little too far fetch.

One of the more interesting / desperate / depress lines I have ever read from the irc public room goes something like this...

Dude : do u want play any kinky action?? SM ?? i'm pure slave...msg me pls if u r serious player.... i'm fat but i willing to do anything that u force me..

Yes, I know being fat and gay at the same time can be a little harsh in a gay world that is superficial. But where is the self-respect? Can someone be so overweight that their self-esteem was buried under those thick layer of fat? If it is, shouldn't they wake up and start dieting. The obesity probably kill first before anything could go wrong with the SM. I have seen some jovial fat gay man before, so I'm sure it's just a matter of adjusting one's perspective.

The most riduculous ons line would probably be this:

Dude: any 1 here looking 4 some adventure now reply me i am in kl area free 2 see u all nw.. adventure i guess u know wat it means

Oohh... adventure... I wonder does it include candles for lighting in the dark, Indiana Jones's whip for chasing off the wild animals...

This was an excerpt from one guy who prompt me for chat...

The Guy: Nothing special just a safe fun buddy
Me: ic....
Me: fun buddy meaning sex wise rite?
The Guy: he he no huge expectation with o experience also okay s long s meet my regulations
Me: haha... regulations? and wut might those regulations be?
The Guy: term and condition ha ha
Me: i'm very interested to hear those terms and conditions
The Guy: just a basic first must starct - discreet- decent- clean and average acceptable
Me: ok....

I'm now venturing into newer pasture here. I always knew that ons is about looks, body and role but never in my mind could it be more subtle then this... Of cause the end result is still about sex but isn't it nice that sex was presented in a less cliche manner. Hmm... nah... who am I kidding... that's a whole crap of rubbish.