10 May 2006

Spacious Interior

“There might be a third person in my relationship.”
“Ha! Serves you right. Always go fooling around. Time you learn your lesson.”
“Ya ya. But sorry to disappoint you. I meant me having another person, not him.”
“Oh… hmm… so what are you going to do next?”
“I don’t know. Let see how things goes.”
“You don’t worry him finding out?”
“Oh… sorry… stupid question. Experience and professionalism. I keep forgetting that. Can’t believe I’m saying this… Best of luck?”
“I’m not tossing a coin any time soon.”

Can a man love more then one person? We see some parents giving equal love to all their children. We see siblings loving each other. So, why not a man loving more then one person? Different types of love maybe? But I thought love knows no boundary, so why was it differentiated and having a quota of 1? If we are buying the anti-gay Christian belief that God’s love is limited and do not include same sex love, then who are we, these sinful minute occurrence in the infinite universe, to proclaim our love boundless. We can only best be as limited as our creator. But those are two opposing view, how can a gay man of faith accept them at the same time? Arguments build like castle in the air.

Divine interpretation aside, common man cannot accept a person who can love more than one. They call them slut. But why is it that we cannot accept the fact that some men have rooms in their heart for more than one? We see in history, many men have more than one wife and they live together happily. No reason it cannot happen in this circle. Most of us are weary that they might be playing us a fool. Truth be told, there are abundant of those heartbreakers out there, but so are those rare individual with spacious rooms in their heart. Justification for fooling around? Possible. So is the existence of such men.

We want it whole and we want it all, some may argue. Love is selfish, yet there is two person involved in a relationship. You are being selfish because you want to own the whole man, but he can also be selfish because he wants to make himself available to other people. Whatsoever you should someone do to you, do  so onto them. If you want someone to be faithful to you, you should be faithful to him first. Shouldn’t the other way works the same too, that if I don’t need you to be faithful to me, so can I not be faithful to you. That’s an excuse for fooling around of course. Still, it points out the fact that in a relationship, it is not what you want but what you are willing to give and accept in return. It was never a fair trade but so is life. Anyone who tells you that life is fair must really hate you indeed.

We see in some Chinese series that often when the wife found out that the good husband has another wife outside, she breaks down completely. It seems impossible for a man to perform such feat of caring for two families, but they did it nonetheless. If one never finds out, then life still goes on as usual. Time will unwrap the whole truth and then all hell breaks loose. But the truth does not unmake the man you know, it just makes you see clearer who the man really is. Often, it is a more tarnish version, but that is not the type of men I am referring to. It is those that were good in the beginning and better in the end, those rare few that have adequate space in his heart for two. If two, why not three or four? Rules of Orgies, two is fun, three is a party, four is a mess.

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