26 May 2006

Two sides of a coin

"I thought he was different, but I was wrong."
"Different? What are you expecting? You guys chatted for a couple of hours and got into bed!"
"I can feel that he was different when we chat. But after that night, he seems to have change to a different person."
"Hello! Earth calling mars. It's call ONS. One. Uno. The rule of the game is that you are only suppose to play it once with one person."
"It's not a game for me, ok! I thought he wanted friendship. Not just sex."
"You and I are friends, you don't find us sleeping together. Friends don't fool around."
"How could people be so cruel towards other people's feeling?"
"How could anybody be more idiotic then you! Please, I feel like slapping you."

It is true that many would prefer friendship over sex. But one has to accept the fact that there is an equal amount of people wanting sex instead of friendship too. Friendship and sex is like oil and water, those two don't mix. If you want to befriend someone, you don't think about having sex with them. Once you've crossed the threshold, that's it. It’s either moving on to become lovers or drifting apart to become strangers. If it didn’t work out, the blame should not be put onto the person who considers it ons since he never wanted it to work in the first place. The fault is on the wishful thinkers, wishing that it might be the beginning of a great relationship. True, some does start that way but most don't. Why can't they just accept the rules of the game? One might have unwillingly entangled themselves in this devious game call ons but that does not mean the pain will go away miraculously when you've pulled yourself out. Denying what happened on that night doesn't do anything. You have your fun too, you didn't really lose anything. The feelings that one invested is not lost, it's wasted, and all because of one own folly.

What about those friends that fools around together? The technical term is sex buddies. It describes two players of the game that knows the rules of the game very well. They don’t call the other every day and wonders if the other misses him or not. They contact each other when the need arise. They know the risk of sexually transmittable disease if they decided to do it bareback. They don’t take grudges when the other is not free to entertain them. They don’t feel hurt because the other is having fun with other people. They don’t mind sharing the same men. On and on the list can go. If you cannot tolerate such unwritten laws of rampant sex, don’t play the game. If you do not know how complex was the game, don’t judge the game.

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