光与阴

I. 清晨的光与阴
A和B在16岁时就认识了也搞在一起成了一对。
因为来自小地方，
虽然不能公开关系但却让青涩的爱情发酿成稳定的关系。

A帅气又有点叛逆;
B却一副微胖的小孩样;
所谓的天造之合
只是双方没有选择下的配对。

II. 朝阳的气息
18岁那年A和B一同来到市区读书，
A以一副badboy的姿态杀进市区的同志圈，
为春色无边的肉海再添波澜。
B一路随行，
成为那个帅哥的胖男友。

III. 日上三竿
A沾染了所有的负面情色，
他的人生从光明走向黑暗，
性生活却从黑暗走向光明，
欲火焚烧的炽热耀眼。

那团以感情为燃料的熊熊欲火
烧断了牵系着俩的爱情线，
坠落的是两端。

B曾是单纯但从不笨 ，
一切有机可循。
A虽是不忠更从不傻，
他以坦荡对应出轨，
把台面下的一切展示在桌上。

B从无奈接受爱人偷偷在外胡搞
到接受爱人第一次3p的倡议，
现在已学会了享受肉海的激情。

IV. 云下的阴影
淳朴的爱
扑向花火间
消失在闪烁的霓虹灯;
狂野的性
从黑暗走出
迷失在虚假的天空下。

V.岁月交替

人生不争的事实就是人总会老去，

岁月能洗尽铅华也能返璞归真。

A发现随着自己越近暮年人苍老;

B却是累计了沧桑变得迷人。

年轻肉体离开了A却接近了B，

A堕入妒忌的漩涡中，

最终沉入了那回响着埋怨的深坑里。

情关

昨夜西风凋碧树。独上高楼，望尽天涯路。
衣带渐宽终不悔，为伊消得人憔悴。
众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在，灯火阑珊处。
此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。

Dishooked

I fully understand the frustration of a long chat that leads to nowhere when all you wanted was someone to sex with. Such frustration build up in some people in such level that they do not tolerate any length of conversation, and will get mad at people who asked too much. To them, it's like, fuck or not? If not, fuck off.

In an effort to understand the angst of these people, I have reason to believe that they have been rejected many a times, which inevitably can be concluded that they are not desirable by the unofficial consensus of the gay circle. As prematurely as it seems, this is base on the belief that one needs to be rejected way many times to try to cover up their undesirableness with a sense of urgency. Unfortunately for me, on my path towards achieving the Great Promiscuousnes, I have stumbled upon some of such person. It took me several encounters to finally learn that pushy hook up is bad hook up.

Lover's Guilt

Which is worse? The pain of being hurt by someone you love, or the pain in hurting someone you love?

Scar could heal, until one day it is gone, though you might recall still the fault he did to you, but your painful memory gone and replaced. But the pain lingers still in him, though he hurt you, but he pains still. Though he rejoice in you getting over him, but he harbours the guilt, of which he has did you wrong. Mayhap you will feel better knowing that he suffer, mayhap you laugh at him for reason you would care less. Be it so, that is no longer your concern. Good riddance.  

Another sorry, another sad story

Bao bei, you might not believe this, but you are in my mind every second of my waking hours. I am thinking of you, thinking of the moments we spent together, thinking of all the things I wanted to say to you, thinking about all the never ending sorry that I would like to tell you. I have not been able to function without you, yet I dare not ask for your forgiveness, nor dare I show any sign of sadness for fear of all the retorts that might hurt you further. Forgive me for my selfishness.

Of being homophobic

When USA announced the equal right of marriage, my FB was flooded by the pride rainbow. People post and repost about their opinions on gay marriage, about being gay and how it is going to change the world. A friend asked why do I not rejoice in that, to him I answered, "What the fuck does it got to do with me? Not like we are legalising gay marriage here. Beside, US is not the first country to legalise gay marriage. All the hoohaa simply because US has better media coverage."

The exchange of argument between gay marriage supporters and haters mostly revolve around the will of God, the laws of nature and the society norm. The same old pointless debate that ultimately question the existence of a Maker.

And then there were friends that posted, "I have nothing against gay, but I just don't think god/nature meant for two men to marry/i do not want it happening around me". I wanted to say to them, "It is alright to be homophobic. Just like it is alright to have malicious thoughts, suicidal intention, wet dreams, crave for cigarettes and whatever. If you stand behind it, by all means do, nobody should be blame for that. The fact is that the statement is down right homophobic and the sad thing is, people who said so are not even aware of it. Ignorance is a blister not a bliss.

忘年

老少配在这个圈子比比皆是，
看在外人眼里只有少的贪钱老的贪色，
真情与假意的比例到底是多少？
恐怕无从计算。

但是当一个人去到那个年龄，
看见那些自己也曾为之心动的躯体;
感染着那已在自己身上消逝的青春气息;
才发现原来年轻是怎么一回事！
奈何溜去的时光已不复返，
咋们只能自我安慰，
那人生并没留白，
只叹我懵懂渡过。

总有听闻这么一首忘年曲，
唱着少年总是呵护伴侣，
老年却宛如纨绔，
最终老年断然斩掉爱情投身那青春肉海。
我为少年不值，
少年却说一切只为爱;
我谴责老年，
难道走过这么长的岁月还不懂珍惜，
还会迷失？
老年笑答:
岁月是条单行路，
没有捷径，
远方的风景必须走到才看到，
当下的心情只能体会难以言明。

Darkness in Paradise

We are all conscious of our looks, especially in this superficial circle. The unfortunate looking tries to hide it, the common looking tries their luck while the good looking gets their pick, that's what I always presume. But one good looking chinese guy shifted my view slightly, and I chance upon a sneak peak into the darkness in paradise. Although being good looking and well endowed, when it comes to random hookup, he needs to assure people that he is not doing it for money, even though many would pay for his body. It comes as a surprise to me that normal good looking man are troubled for being mistaken of selling their body. Mayhap you know him, mayhap you have bedded him, mayhap it's you I'm writing bout. Mayhap not.

Ex Marks the Spot

Seems that it's common for couples that broke up to still live under the same roof. Some even sleep on the same bed. This will obviously be a problem, when one of them become attached. The new bf will undoubtedly find it difficult to accept the arrangement.

The new bf will not be able to understand why the ex still stays there even though he is being reassured that nothing is happening between them. The fact that his current bf has separated with his ex,  doesn't mean they no don't care for each other, but quite the contrary, he care for him like a family member. He is privy to his financial status, the traffic that he has to beat through daily, and how sharing the same roof still can reduce his burden while finding his own path again in singlehood. This I guess is the virtue of gay infidels.

Too much of a good thing

Men's ego, whether gay or straight, will be hugely amplified if they have a substantial amount of sexual endurance to fuck. Even with the invention of the little blue pill, one would still need to be equipped with endurance and stamina to perform, unless one don't mind to be call the human dildo, forever stiff but never moving. But then it takes two to tango, so without those who appreciate the long lasting sexual stamina, all is for naught.

For those on the path of the Great Promiscuousnous, we know what we fancy in bed, whether it be kissing, nipple play, oral, rimmed, feet worship, ear licking, s&m, we all have our own things that we enjoy. Myself, like many others, enjoyed nipple play. The ecstasy from nipple being licked and sucked and played is cock stiffening. Play with it all night long and I'm content, or so I thought.

It was a session of three where two was dead tired from over indulgence while the third was starting fresh. The problem of course is that the two can't keep up and wanted to sleep while the third was horny as hell. Being a bottom, the third was a bit frustrated with the other two not maintaining hardness, so he went for his other fancy, nipple play. Unluckily lucky, my left nipple was his target. He was on it for two full hours nonstop. It was then that I realised, a two hours nipple play wasn't as arousing as I thought it would be, especially in a drowsy mood.

Sometimes in bed, with libido running high, we brag that we can do what we enjoy all night long, but it's basically a figure of speech. Although I have heard of stories about nonstop humping from 12 to 12, I find it difficult to grasp the fine balance of sore ass and soar high. 2 hours nonstop, that's the max I would accept, or that is my endurance cap.

三友

话说当年。。。
A和B分手是因为C的介入；
B在离开A后便和C走在一起；
C在当时其实已经和D交往多年；
D原来是A的其中一名炮友；
只是ABCD当时都不知道大家原来这么亲密。

时过境迁。。。
A现在单身；
B离开了C后远走他乡认识了E目前生活美满；
C和D搬入新家就住在A楼下；
D不时还会带着C去到A的家轰趴。
其实A和C都心知对方做了什么，
C因发现A和D搞在一起所以才介入AB；
A因发现C导致他和B分手所以和D更亲密；
D带着C上了A而A也当着C面前上了D。
现在A上过C而C也上过A两人的关系变好了，
A和C从情敌变炮友，
从炮友变朋友，
这就是同志爱？

男男间的爱、欲、恨
全缠绵於男友，朋友和炮友间。
这个情义结看似错综复杂
却实乃三位一体；
            春心萌动基情酿，
            激情荡漾忌讳闯，
            爱欲交集畸情葬。
            缘起缘灭缘终尽，
4个人的感情纠纷因谁而生因谁而灭，
终究难以探知孰是孰非，
皆因始作俑者可能根本不在其中。

The Law of Three(some)more

I was confronted, again.

Somehow these confrontation thingy is happening once too often, as if I'm an easy pick. But I guess being older means I'm wiser and know how to deal with confrontation without getting pissed. Either that or I'm becoming senile, thus easy target. Grrr...

Again, I was confronted awhile back. Someone who invited me to join him and his buddy for threesome confronted me, demanding answers to some questions. One, am I into his friend more then I am into him? Two, am I not click with him? OK, so it's basically the same question. Regardless, these are tricky questions especially when you want to preserve a good relationship with the other person, coz you never know when the next invitation to a raunchy sexcapade might come from.

I mean, do you honestly expect a truthful answer? Instead of asking me such awkward questions, why not ask yourself, who is the better looking, the more desirable one between you and him. Wouldn't the answer be clear without me being blunt?

In my defence, I have totally forgotten how the friend looks. I would not be able to recognise him even if he is standing before me. But I do admit that the friend is definitely much more desirable then the host. But, that doesn't mean I do not know how to play the game properly. There was a second then, that I felt offended because I was accused of not knowing the proper things to do when invited to someone's home to fuck with two guys. It was a shocking revelation for I think I might have achieve the Great Promiscuousnes.

Thus the Law of Three(some) goes, if you have a good looking guy to sex with, keep him to yourself unless you are equally good looking, and the third guy you invited over has such difficulty in choosing which to please that he ends up a slave for both. 

The Law of Three(some)

To achieve Great Promiscuousnes, one must master the many disciplines that governs the integrity of this state. Among which is the Law of Three(some), widely accepted as the major sign of promiscuousnes. For once you have two men at once, sex would never be the same.

Threesome, to engage in sexual activity with two individuals simultaneously. A wild fantasy for the uninitiated, but for many gay, it is likely something they have had a go at. I had mine at the age of 18, right after my first encounter with a man that was considerably disappointing. The funny thing was, I don't quite recall the threesome, instead whatever memory I have of the session was the twosome in the shower room. Well, that's another entry at a different time.

So unless one is willing to give threesome another try, one would probably keep to one man per copulation. Rightly so as even the most seasoned of players don't get enjoyable threesome that often. We can have better satisfaction with just one man. It was probably hope that with quantity, quality should increase by proportion too.

The consensus on having a good threesome is getting three guys that can click with the other two, which enjoys similar sexual activities. For some reason, it's hard to come by. Thus, the search for the elusive three ways orgasm continues. But I think we have side track on this search. Is it really that hard to get three men that is in to each other to sex together? I think not. Instead I would think that it's crucial to gather three men that can click 'at the exact same moment for the same duration' for a successful threesome. The keyword here is timing. If the three men can't be high and horny at the same time, for the same duration the threesome is likely to turn into a twosome where one wanders off to rest while the other two continues. Still, it is not all for naught, at least 5-10 minutes of threeways action was squeezed out of it. An attempt worthy of the title 'not bad'.

of New Faces & Old Fucks

The gay scene in KL is small, smaller still for gay men with huge appetite for sex. Throw in superficial discrimination, fetishes of all sorts and some sex drugs, the circle become even smaller still. I have since established the degree of separation between one fuck to another, after meticulously comparing data with a fellow buddy... I mean fellow researcher. The findings were staggering.

If you live in KL just as I, but our path never cross, it's likely that we will remain strangers until the end, yet we will still have common friends. We may even copulated the same man, or men, but statistically, you and I will remain ignorant of each other's presence or role in the other's life, forever. So concluded the study of my sundry sex life.

After more than a decade and a half, I honestly do not remember how many men I've played with. But then again, after such long years, many details would have been forgotten unless visual cue was given, preferably the same picture that I have seen before, because wrinkles and body fat can change a person's appearance dramatically. You can't really blame me for not recognising you after seeing your latest profile picture, since our last shag was several years ago and in between this time we have not communicate nor visibly active on social media. Except for a few that I have manage to keep in contact with throughout the years, I have basically lost contact with all the men I sexed with. Surprisingly unsurprising, it's very common and most people go through the same tribulation in achieving the Great Promiscuous. Those that remembers, well, you obviously haven't had enough variants in your sex life. Good for you for being loyal, but in case your lack of variance in sex life is because of some physical attribution imposed by superficial discrimination, well, you can always pay for it. Really, why pay for gym or slimming packages that don't work, when all you need is a fuck that is just one message away. It doesn't matter whether I condoned human trafficking or not, the trade is active nonetheless.

Oh wait, I have drifted away from the initial motive of this post. Remember the Kelvin & Terry post (..of Jealous & Possesive Boyfriend) where I was accused of fucking someone I don't even know, it turns out, I do know that person and have fucked him years ago. All matters considered, I am still wrongly accused, but knowing that I have actually fucked the guy, makes me feel so much more at ease. Twisted. I know.

可惜没如果

那么多如果
可能如果我
可惜没如果
没有你和我
只剩下结果

想起你，我的身体依然隐隐悸动。

Scrapheap

It often happens this way, a few hours into the session, both person started to play with their phone and it was somehow mutually agreed without discussion, that a third guy is needed to spice things up. As there will always be some horny guy still awake in the wee hour of Saturday wanting to get lucky, it would usually be quickly arranged to kick start the party again. That is where this hook up story begins.

Woken by the sound of the messages at 3am, I know that it was obviously an invite to join a session from some of my acquaintances. True enough, it was from someone familiar. Though feeling sleepy, my sexual urges overcome my common sense and I find myself driving nearly an hour to the party location. My friend told me that he will be leaving early in the morning, so I naturally tries to let him have his way with the host. But somehow, the flame of lust fails to sustain the two men in heat, and a fourth guy was invited over. Since things didn't happen between the host and the friend, naturally I was designated to the host while the friend mingle with the fourth guy.

But at the time when the friend needs to leave, I was told that nothing happens between them during that whole time. Though no reason were disclose, I suspect it has to do with compatibility issues. In the morning, I have a feeling that the friend actually wanted to stay over, but the host nonchalantly reminded the friend that he needs to leave to attend to his errands. Right that moment, I caught a glimpse of dissatisfaction in the friends face at the corner of my eyes. He quietly pack and left. The fourth guy left soon after, though we did manage to catch some action. After that, it was just me and the host until 6pm. I clocked 14 hours for this session, with some serious humping involved.

I'm not sure if the friend is angry at me or not because he didn't message me afterwards. Still, I don't think that I should be blamed, even though I probably played a huge part in the whole session falling apart, but the way to The Great Promiscuousnes are paved with uneven rocks of sharp edges and slippery surface, all who seek it must embrace bruises and cut.

of Jealous & Possesive Boyfriend

At 4am, Kelvin messaged me and asked if I would like to go over to his place in the morning. When I replied his message, it was already 10am. He said that he was with his mom, so the plan was called off. Just another normal hookup gone sour, or so I thought. At around 4pm, Kelvin message me again asking me where I am. I told him I was at home. He asked me if I was alone, which I replied yes, I am home alone. Then he asked me if I am with this particular guy that was on Grindr. I told him again that I'm all by myself. But he was relentless. He asked if I'm with a guy called Terry, and send me a picture suggesting that I might know him under a different name. At that point, I was pissed. I bombarded that, if he choose not to believe what I said, he is better off not asking. Sadly, I don't think he got that message as he blocked me, but not before him calling me ruining his relationship.

I have had my share of sexing other man's boyfriend. No, there was no guilt for me. I'm certainly not going to be held responsible for anybody's relationship going south. But to be blamed for fucking with someone I didn't fuck with, that's my first time. In the beginning I was angry, but the more I think about it, the more I pity both Terry and Kelvin (err, maybe not Kelvin, gays don't forgive so easily, boohoo). To have a boyfriend that is jealous and possessive to that extent is depressing. A prayer to Terry, wherever and whoever you are, if ever you are real. Can't really rule out that it's just a wild fantasy by someone who overdose on illegal substances. Oh no, I'm not being mean here, I'm speaking a fact.